CARVILLE:   It's time for "Rapidfire," where, as Tucker Carlson knows so well, the questions come even faster than you can turn the pages of his new book. It's called "Politicians, Partisans and Parasites: My Adventures in Cable News." 
BEGALA:   Tucker, you write really well. You create wonderful pictures of some of the politicians that you've covered. And you like the characters, you like the odd balls. Who can fill Jim Traficant's toupee? 
CARLSON:   Boy. That is tough, now that he's gone. I would say Dennis Kucinich who opens every fundraiser with a tantric prayer and ends it with, quote, "collective visualization." He's the closest to Jim Traficant, I think. 
CARSLSON:   Other than Al Sharpton, who is your favorite non- incarcerated Democrat? 
CARLSON:   I would have to say Zell Miller. We need to get Zell Miller on our show. There is a brilliant Democrat. 
BEGALA:   Well, he and Al Sharpton have so much in common. 
CARLSON:   Right.  
BEGALA:   One of your predecessors hosting on the right here in cable news, Patrick J. Buchanan, ran for the presidency. Are you ready to run? 
CARLSON:   I think ultimately most television show hosts decide, you know, I ought to be president. That will not happen to me. I couldn't get elected to my city council. And this book will prevent it for sure. 
CARVILLE:   Who is your least favorite Republican? 
CARLSON:   Who is my least favorite Republican? Oh, boy, there are probably a lot of them. 
CARVILLE:   Well, name one. 
CARLSON:   I would say, the -- probably Alan Simpson from Wyoming, who has yelled at me twice. 
CARVILLE:   OK. 
CARLSON:   That will... 
BEGALA:   Slightly different, who is the most annoying politician of either party? 
CARLSON:   Barney Frank. I saw Barney Frank scream. I saw Barney Frank scream and make cry a producer at CNN who tried to fix his collar. He batted her hand and said, "Get your hands off me. I'm not an actor." And made her cry. Now, I felt like punching him out. 
CARVILLE:   Barney Frank has always been nice to me, and I really do like Barney Frank. If Al Sharpton is elected president, he offers you the position of the secretary of the state, will you accept? 
CARLSON:   No, I'll hold out for head of Amtrak. I think I'm more qualified for that. 
CARVILLE:   Saved by the bell. 
BEGALA:   Tucker Carlson. The book, "Politicians, Parasites" -- I'm sorry. "Politicians, Partisans and Parasites: My Adventures in Cable News." Liberals will love it. Conservatives will struggle with some of the bigger words, but you can try. 
CARVILLE:   Don't go away. In just a minute, Bob Novak and I have some 2004 predictions you don't want to miss. Can you guess which one of us is going to be right? All right.
