<article>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#article10_03_25_1547249</id>
	<title>How the TSA Plans On Inspecting Your Monkey</title>
	<author>samzenpus</author>
	<datestamp>1269541620000</datestamp>
	<htmltext>The uncertainty of what might happen to your <a href="http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/specialneeds/editorial\_1056.shtm#2">service monkey at an airport security checkpoint</a> won't keep you awake at night anymore, thanks to the TSA. They have issued an easy to follow list of how they will ensure your helper monkey won't go all <em>Planet of the Apes</em> on your flight. Some of the security techniques used to make sure your primate is not a terrorist include: "Security Officers will conduct a visual inspection on the service monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection. The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection."</htmltext>
<tokenext>The uncertainty of what might happen to your service monkey at an airport security checkpoint wo n't keep you awake at night anymore , thanks to the TSA .
They have issued an easy to follow list of how they will ensure your helper monkey wo n't go all Planet of the Apes on your flight .
Some of the security techniques used to make sure your primate is not a terrorist include : " Security Officers will conduct a visual inspection on the service monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection .
The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey 's diaper as part of the visual inspection .
"</tokentext>
<sentencetext>The uncertainty of what might happen to your service monkey at an airport security checkpoint won't keep you awake at night anymore, thanks to the TSA.
They have issued an easy to follow list of how they will ensure your helper monkey won't go all Planet of the Apes on your flight.
Some of the security techniques used to make sure your primate is not a terrorist include: "Security Officers will conduct a visual inspection on the service monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.
The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection.
"</sentencetext>
</article>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616058</id>
	<title>Re:A service monkey? Really?</title>
	<author>v1</author>
	<datestamp>1269549420000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Insightful</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I was thinking on this too, we don't have to put diapers on dogs or cats.  But it just must be the "nature of the beaste" to not be easy to toilet train.  It may simply be the case that monkeys don't have sufficient warning, control, and capacity to "hold it" if they have to go.  Sort of like having to pull over every 45 minutes when you're on a car trip with a four year old passenger.  The diaper is probably not their regular choice for the monkey, but more to prevent a mess if things get unpredictable.</p><p>And then there's the whole thing about monkeys (chimps mostly) entertaining themselves by flinging poo.  The picture looked like a macaque, I don't recall hearing about them flinging poo at the zoos like you hear from time to time with the chimps.  And a macaque would make a much better service animal just for the small adult size. (chimps get <b>big</b> and <b>very strong</b>, some have been known to outright <i>beat up</i> their handlers)</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I was thinking on this too , we do n't have to put diapers on dogs or cats .
But it just must be the " nature of the beaste " to not be easy to toilet train .
It may simply be the case that monkeys do n't have sufficient warning , control , and capacity to " hold it " if they have to go .
Sort of like having to pull over every 45 minutes when you 're on a car trip with a four year old passenger .
The diaper is probably not their regular choice for the monkey , but more to prevent a mess if things get unpredictable.And then there 's the whole thing about monkeys ( chimps mostly ) entertaining themselves by flinging poo .
The picture looked like a macaque , I do n't recall hearing about them flinging poo at the zoos like you hear from time to time with the chimps .
And a macaque would make a much better service animal just for the small adult size .
( chimps get big and very strong , some have been known to outright beat up their handlers )</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I was thinking on this too, we don't have to put diapers on dogs or cats.
But it just must be the "nature of the beaste" to not be easy to toilet train.
It may simply be the case that monkeys don't have sufficient warning, control, and capacity to "hold it" if they have to go.
Sort of like having to pull over every 45 minutes when you're on a car trip with a four year old passenger.
The diaper is probably not their regular choice for the monkey, but more to prevent a mess if things get unpredictable.And then there's the whole thing about monkeys (chimps mostly) entertaining themselves by flinging poo.
The picture looked like a macaque, I don't recall hearing about them flinging poo at the zoos like you hear from time to time with the chimps.
And a macaque would make a much better service animal just for the small adult size.
(chimps get big and very strong, some have been known to outright beat up their handlers)</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614884</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615960</id>
	<title>Sprockets</title>
	<author>magus\_melchior</author>
	<datestamp>1269549000000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>This gives me a great idea for Mike Meyers, a simian, and a form-fitting black outfit...</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>This gives me a great idea for Mike Meyers , a simian , and a form-fitting black outfit.. .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>This gives me a great idea for Mike Meyers, a simian, and a form-fitting black outfit...</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614934</id>
	<title>Dont touch the monkey...</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269545520000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Whatever you do, don't spank the monkey...</p><p>Does your Monkey bite?</p><p>(Very slow day here)</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Whatever you do , do n't spank the monkey...Does your Monkey bite ?
( Very slow day here )</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Whatever you do, don't spank the monkey...Does your Monkey bite?
(Very slow day here)</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614942</id>
	<title>That's not unusual.</title>
	<author>Rene S. Hollan</author>
	<datestamp>1269545520000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Interestin</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>When I traveled between the U.S. and Canada, it was typical for me to remove pet cat and guinea pig from carriers and carry them by hand through the metal detectors. Surprisingly, the cat had greater veterinary bill of health requirements than the guinea pig.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>When I traveled between the U.S. and Canada , it was typical for me to remove pet cat and guinea pig from carriers and carry them by hand through the metal detectors .
Surprisingly , the cat had greater veterinary bill of health requirements than the guinea pig .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>When I traveled between the U.S. and Canada, it was typical for me to remove pet cat and guinea pig from carriers and carry them by hand through the metal detectors.
Surprisingly, the cat had greater veterinary bill of health requirements than the guinea pig.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615712</id>
	<title>Planet of the Apes popular with nerds</title>
	<author>perpenso</author>
	<datestamp>1269548160000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p><div class="quote"><p>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?  Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?</p></div><p>The "Planet of the Apes" book and movies are pretty popular among nerds.  The concept of a "service monkey" would naturally seem to have a certain level of interest among the slashdot community.<nobr> <wbr></nobr>;-)</p></div>
	</htmltext>
<tokenext>What has this , or half the articles on the front page lately , have to do with " News for Nerds " ?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about " Service Monkeys " ? The " Planet of the Apes " book and movies are pretty popular among nerds .
The concept of a " service monkey " would naturally seem to have a certain level of interest among the slashdot community .
; - )</tokentext>
<sentencetext>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?The "Planet of the Apes" book and movies are pretty popular among nerds.
The concept of a "service monkey" would naturally seem to have a certain level of interest among the slashdot community.
;-)
	</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617858</id>
	<title>Leave my monkey alone!</title>
	<author>Shag</author>
	<datestamp>1269512520000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>RIP, Warren.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>RIP , Warren .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>RIP, Warren.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615848</id>
	<title>Re:wow. they *exist*</title>
	<author>CopaceticOpus</author>
	<datestamp>1269548640000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Insightful</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>There are helper monkeys? And here I've been getting my own beer from the fridge like a sucker!</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>There are helper monkeys ?
And here I 've been getting my own beer from the fridge like a sucker !</tokentext>
<sentencetext>There are helper monkeys?
And here I've been getting my own beer from the fridge like a sucker!</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615340</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615922</id>
	<title>service that monkey</title>
	<author>roman\_mir</author>
	<datestamp>1269548880000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I don't know what to say, how even to try to be moderately informative, insightful or even funny, I have no idea.  I am just thinking this: would I really want a monkey to service me?  Wasn't there a movie about it on the interwebs?</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I do n't know what to say , how even to try to be moderately informative , insightful or even funny , I have no idea .
I am just thinking this : would I really want a monkey to service me ?
Was n't there a movie about it on the interwebs ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I don't know what to say, how even to try to be moderately informative, insightful or even funny, I have no idea.
I am just thinking this: would I really want a monkey to service me?
Wasn't there a movie about it on the interwebs?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615376</id>
	<title>Enough already</title>
	<author>U8MyData</author>
	<datestamp>1269547080000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Where do I get off this !#@$\% ride?  I miss my old country...</htmltext>
<tokenext>Where do I get off this ! # @ $ \ % ride ?
I miss my old country.. .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Where do I get off this !#@$\% ride?
I miss my old country...</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615838</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>mcohrs</author>
	<datestamp>1269548580000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I for one am am grateful to the author, I now know that I do not need to worry about seeing some TSA person spanking his monkey right there in security.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I for one am am grateful to the author , I now know that I do not need to worry about seeing some TSA person spanking his monkey right there in security .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I for one am am grateful to the author, I now know that I do not need to worry about seeing some TSA person spanking his monkey right there in security.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615000</id>
	<title>Two trained animals in these</title>
	<author>pngwen</author>
	<datestamp>1269545700000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I like all the sections that say "Security Officers have been trained to not \_\_\_\_\_\_\_".  So you have a trained service monkey, and it has to meet up with a trained higher order primate at a checkpoint!</p><p>Of course, "higher order primate" might give a bit too much credit to the TSA goon squad, but they certainly are in fact trained animals.  Sadly, like many monkeys, they do occasionally lift shiny objects from innocent bystanders....</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I like all the sections that say " Security Officers have been trained to not \ _ \ _ \ _ \ _ \ _ \ _ \ _ " .
So you have a trained service monkey , and it has to meet up with a trained higher order primate at a checkpoint ! Of course , " higher order primate " might give a bit too much credit to the TSA goon squad , but they certainly are in fact trained animals .
Sadly , like many monkeys , they do occasionally lift shiny objects from innocent bystanders... .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I like all the sections that say "Security Officers have been trained to not \_\_\_\_\_\_\_".
So you have a trained service monkey, and it has to meet up with a trained higher order primate at a checkpoint!Of course, "higher order primate" might give a bit too much credit to the TSA goon squad, but they certainly are in fact trained animals.
Sadly, like many monkeys, they do occasionally lift shiny objects from innocent bystanders....</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616304</id>
	<title>Re:But..</title>
	<author>assassinator42</author>
	<datestamp>1269550200000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>No, but they will shock the monkey. They carry tasers, right?</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>No , but they will shock the monkey .
They carry tasers , right ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>No, but they will shock the monkey.
They carry tasers, right?</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614944</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617340</id>
	<title>comment system is lame!</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269510300000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>what is up with Slashdot's comments always changing! what happened to the slider bar? I'm using Firefox. When I click "More" nothing happens.</p><p>PUT IT BACK THE WAY IT WAS 5 YEARS AGO.</p><p>thanks.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>what is up with Slashdot 's comments always changing !
what happened to the slider bar ?
I 'm using Firefox .
When I click " More " nothing happens.PUT IT BACK THE WAY IT WAS 5 YEARS AGO.thanks .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>what is up with Slashdot's comments always changing!
what happened to the slider bar?
I'm using Firefox.
When I click "More" nothing happens.PUT IT BACK THE WAY IT WAS 5 YEARS AGO.thanks.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31666290</id>
	<title>Re:A service monkey? Really?</title>
	<author>pearl298</author>
	<datestamp>1269881880000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Have you travelled by airline recently? <br> <br>

As an old fossil who needs a toilet NOW!! on occasion I can only sympathise with the monkey!</htmltext>
<tokenext>Have you travelled by airline recently ?
As an old fossil who needs a toilet NOW ! !
on occasion I can only sympathise with the monkey !</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Have you travelled by airline recently?
As an old fossil who needs a toilet NOW!!
on occasion I can only sympathise with the monkey!</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614884</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616152</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>KlomDark</author>
	<datestamp>1269549720000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Something. All I'm seeing lately on<nobr> <wbr></nobr>/. are the same articles I saw on Fark a day or two before.</p><p>If it wasn't for having a four digit ID (and all the perks that come with that!) there'd be nothing for me here...<nobr> <wbr></nobr>;)</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Something .
All I 'm seeing lately on / .
are the same articles I saw on Fark a day or two before.If it was n't for having a four digit ID ( and all the perks that come with that !
) there 'd be nothing for me here... ; )</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Something.
All I'm seeing lately on /.
are the same articles I saw on Fark a day or two before.If it wasn't for having a four digit ID (and all the perks that come with that!
) there'd be nothing for me here... ;)</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615584</id>
	<title>Monkeys inspecing Monkeys</title>
	<author>scorp1us</author>
	<datestamp>1269547680000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>3</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Does that mean TSA agents will eat ticks if they find any, and does your monkey have to return the inspection favor?</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Does that mean TSA agents will eat ticks if they find any , and does your monkey have to return the inspection favor ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Does that mean TSA agents will eat ticks if they find any, and does your monkey have to return the inspection favor?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614940</id>
	<title>oblig</title>
	<author>quantumplacet</author>
	<datestamp>1269545520000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Troll</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>oh, i can't wait to eat that monkey</p><p>(alternatively: PRAY..FOR...MOJO...)</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>oh , i ca n't wait to eat that monkey ( alternatively : PRAY..FOR...MOJO... )</tokentext>
<sentencetext>oh, i can't wait to eat that monkey(alternatively: PRAY..FOR...MOJO...)</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615944</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>lennier1</author>
	<datestamp>1269548940000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>What?<br>You mean you don't use service monkeys for the maintenance of your network cabling at work?</p><p>And having a service monkey at hand in case the cockpit has to be rewired could save your life (or more important, your in-flight wi-fi).</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>What ? You mean you do n't use service monkeys for the maintenance of your network cabling at work ? And having a service monkey at hand in case the cockpit has to be rewired could save your life ( or more important , your in-flight wi-fi ) .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>What?You mean you don't use service monkeys for the maintenance of your network cabling at work?And having a service monkey at hand in case the cockpit has to be rewired could save your life (or more important, your in-flight wi-fi).</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31622394</id>
	<title>Simpsons</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269543660000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Pray for Mojo...</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Pray for Mojo.. .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Pray for Mojo...</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614998</id>
	<title>pray... for... mojo bin laden</title>
	<author>bunhed</author>
	<datestamp>1269545700000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>what a world.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>what a world .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>what a world.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615314</id>
	<title>Yes, but...</title>
	<author>vikingpower</author>
	<datestamp>1269546840000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>3</modscore>
	<htmltext>...will the monkey blend ?</htmltext>
<tokenext>...will the monkey blend ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>...will the monkey blend ?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31618572</id>
	<title>Re:I'LL Say It: Shock The Monkey!!!</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269515640000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Peter Gabriel</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Peter Gabriel</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Peter Gabriel</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616660</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615340</id>
	<title>wow. they *exist*</title>
	<author>earlymon</author>
	<datestamp>1269546900000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Informativ</modclass>
	<modscore>4</modscore>
	<htmltext><p><a href="http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/" title="monkeyhelpers.org">http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/</a> [monkeyhelpers.org]</p><p>Wow. Seriously - wow.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>http : //www.monkeyhelpers.org/ [ monkeyhelpers.org ] Wow .
Seriously - wow .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/ [monkeyhelpers.org]Wow.
Seriously - wow.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616338</id>
	<title>Re:Service monkeys?</title>
	<author>v1</author>
	<datestamp>1269550260000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p><a href="http://xkcd.com/149/" title="xkcd.com">make me a sandwich</a> [xkcd.com]</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>make me a sandwich [ xkcd.com ]</tokentext>
<sentencetext>make me a sandwich [xkcd.com]</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615392</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616472</id>
	<title>They just cant win</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269550680000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>If they didn't have procedures they would be crucified the first time a monkey came thru.  But since they planned ahead and do, they get made fun of.</p><p>Just can't win.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>If they did n't have procedures they would be crucified the first time a monkey came thru .
But since they planned ahead and do , they get made fun of.Just ca n't win .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>If they didn't have procedures they would be crucified the first time a monkey came thru.
But since they planned ahead and do, they get made fun of.Just can't win.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616660</id>
	<title>I'LL Say It: Shock The Monkey!!!</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269508140000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Shock The Monkey - Robert Plant</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Shock The Monkey - Robert Plant</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Shock The Monkey - Robert Plant</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31619776</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>selven</author>
	<datestamp>1269521940000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>To me, the summary feels like it's trying to talk about something, but just as a background for the overarching sexual metaphor.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>To me , the summary feels like it 's trying to talk about something , but just as a background for the overarching sexual metaphor .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>To me, the summary feels like it's trying to talk about something, but just as a background for the overarching sexual metaphor.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615400</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269547140000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p><div class="quote"><p>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?  Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?</p></div><p>You mean this isn't a story about the help desk?</p></div>
	</htmltext>
<tokenext>What has this , or half the articles on the front page lately , have to do with " News for Nerds " ?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about " Service Monkeys " ? You mean this is n't a story about the help desk ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?You mean this isn't a story about the help desk?
	</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615264</id>
	<title>Figures</title>
	<author>egcagrac0</author>
	<datestamp>1269546660000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Like so many of the few dates I've had, they may want to see the monkey, but they certainly don't want to touch it.</p><p>But they'll tell me how to handle and position the monkey, so that's progress.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Like so many of the few dates I 've had , they may want to see the monkey , but they certainly do n't want to touch it.But they 'll tell me how to handle and position the monkey , so that 's progress .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Like so many of the few dates I've had, they may want to see the monkey, but they certainly don't want to touch it.But they'll tell me how to handle and position the monkey, so that's progress.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616778</id>
	<title>Paging Dr. Zaius</title>
	<author>GamEmpire</author>
	<datestamp>1269508620000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext>Quick, page a doctor who knows something about these things! Dr. Zaius, please pick up the banana phone.</htmltext>
<tokenext>Quick , page a doctor who knows something about these things !
Dr. Zaius , please pick up the banana phone .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Quick, page a doctor who knows something about these things!
Dr. Zaius, please pick up the banana phone.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614874</id>
	<title>Now's the time on Sprockets when we dahnce</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269545340000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>5</modscore>
	<htmltext>Touch it! Touch the monkey!</htmltext>
<tokenext>Touch it !
Touch the monkey !</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Touch it!
Touch the monkey!</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31618640</id>
	<title>I thank 7ou for your time</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269516000000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Flamebait</modclass>
	<modscore>-1</modscore>
	<htmltext>those obligations. are a pathetic its readers and shout the louDest it simple, If desired, we channel, you might BSD's filesystem at my frrelance when done playing</htmltext>
<tokenext>those obligations .
are a pathetic its readers and shout the louDest it simple , If desired , we channel , you might BSD 's filesystem at my frrelance when done playing</tokentext>
<sentencetext>those obligations.
are a pathetic its readers and shout the louDest it simple, If desired, we channel, you might BSD's filesystem at my frrelance when done playing</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615290</id>
	<title>Is it April 1st already?</title>
	<author>gyrogeerloose</author>
	<datestamp>1269546780000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext> I  must have lost a few days somewhere along the line...</htmltext>
<tokenext>I must have lost a few days somewhere along the line.. .</tokentext>
<sentencetext> I  must have lost a few days somewhere along the line...</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31618392</id>
	<title>Re:A service monkey? Really?</title>
	<author>517714</author>
	<datestamp>1269514740000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>I believe it is a herbivore/carnivore thing.  Pooping at the moment a tiger bites your butt is probably a favorable genetic response to predation.  If you feed your four year old passenger more meat and less fruit and vegetables the stops will be less frequent.</htmltext>
<tokenext>I believe it is a herbivore/carnivore thing .
Pooping at the moment a tiger bites your butt is probably a favorable genetic response to predation .
If you feed your four year old passenger more meat and less fruit and vegetables the stops will be less frequent .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I believe it is a herbivore/carnivore thing.
Pooping at the moment a tiger bites your butt is probably a favorable genetic response to predation.
If you feed your four year old passenger more meat and less fruit and vegetables the stops will be less frequent.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616058</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615174</id>
	<title>Inappropriate Comment Magnet</title>
	<author>HolyLime</author>
	<datestamp>1269546360000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Let the inappropriate comments again.

But I like it when they touch my monkey. he he he</htmltext>
<tokenext>Let the inappropriate comments again .
But I like it when they touch my monkey .
he he he</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Let the inappropriate comments again.
But I like it when they touch my monkey.
he he he</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31622020</id>
	<title>Hey!</title>
	<author>Jane Q. Public</author>
	<datestamp>1269538440000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>What?? Not even one "Show me the monkey" joke?</htmltext>
<tokenext>What ? ?
Not even one " Show me the monkey " joke ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>What??
Not even one "Show me the monkey" joke?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615106</id>
	<title>Most Likely To Evince Inappropriate Comments</title>
	<author>dmmiller2k</author>
	<datestamp>1269546060000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I vote for this one as the story "Most Likely To Evince Inappropriate Comments".

</p><p>At least for today.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I vote for this one as the story " Most Likely To Evince Inappropriate Comments " .
At least for today .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I vote for this one as the story "Most Likely To Evince Inappropriate Comments".
At least for today.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614874</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617946</id>
	<title>what if the monkey goes while the visual check?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269512880000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>what happens if the monkey decides he has to go while they are completing this visual check, taking the diaper off doesn't sound like a good idea  after the line gets held up after they must do a clean up.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>what happens if the monkey decides he has to go while they are completing this visual check , taking the diaper off does n't sound like a good idea after the line gets held up after they must do a clean up .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>what happens if the monkey decides he has to go while they are completing this visual check, taking the diaper off doesn't sound like a good idea  after the line gets held up after they must do a clean up.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616470</id>
	<title>Redundant Hilarity</title>
	<author>cosm</author>
	<datestamp>1269550680000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>3</modscore>
	<htmltext>The full body scanners already accomplish this. They can even scan beavers and sweater-puppies, so I hear.</htmltext>
<tokenext>The full body scanners already accomplish this .
They can even scan beavers and sweater-puppies , so I hear .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>The full body scanners already accomplish this.
They can even scan beavers and sweater-puppies, so I hear.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614900</id>
	<title>Well...</title>
	<author>pushing-robot</author>
	<datestamp>1269545400000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Considering the last article was submitted by <i>superapecommando</i>, I can't blame them.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Considering the last article was submitted by superapecommando , I ca n't blame them .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Considering the last article was submitted by superapecommando, I can't blame them.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617606</id>
	<title>wtf is up w/ the comments?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269511380000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>they are all nested. I click 'More' they are still all nested. Where are the threshold controls? I posted about this 30 minutes ago and I don't even see the comment! In it, I made the statement "put it back the way it was 5 years ago!".</p><p>SLASHDOT COMMENT SYSTEM &gt; SHIT!</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>they are all nested .
I click 'More ' they are still all nested .
Where are the threshold controls ?
I posted about this 30 minutes ago and I do n't even see the comment !
In it , I made the statement " put it back the way it was 5 years ago !
" .SLASHDOT COMMENT SYSTEM &gt; SHIT !</tokentext>
<sentencetext>they are all nested.
I click 'More' they are still all nested.
Where are the threshold controls?
I posted about this 30 minutes ago and I don't even see the comment!
In it, I made the statement "put it back the way it was 5 years ago!
".SLASHDOT COMMENT SYSTEM &gt; SHIT!</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615230</id>
	<title>Re:Where's Dieter When You Need Him?</title>
	<author>Em Emalb</author>
	<datestamp>1269546540000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Informativ</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I'll admit it, I only ever watched <i>Sprockets</i> for the dancing.</p><p>"And now is the part of the show where we dance"</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I 'll admit it , I only ever watched Sprockets for the dancing .
" And now is the part of the show where we dance "</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I'll admit it, I only ever watched Sprockets for the dancing.
"And now is the part of the show where we dance"</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614922</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31625144</id>
	<title>The servicemonkey revolt of 2012</title>
	<author>rclandrum</author>
	<datestamp>1269613860000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>A human spokesperson for the ServiceMonkey union today announced a general strike aimed at eliminating the "barbaric and demeaning mandate that all service monkeys be required to wear diapers while traveling.  "Our selfless service monkeys cannot speak, and forcing them to wear diapers effectively silences their primary means of communication.  We are here today to assert the right of all our union members to freely employ their perfectly natural inclination to anal and genital-based modes of expression."</p><p>Reporters who were granted interviews with selected union members were later observed to flee en masse, following an impromptu demonstration of the effectiveness of service monkey commentary.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>A human spokesperson for the ServiceMonkey union today announced a general strike aimed at eliminating the " barbaric and demeaning mandate that all service monkeys be required to wear diapers while traveling .
" Our selfless service monkeys can not speak , and forcing them to wear diapers effectively silences their primary means of communication .
We are here today to assert the right of all our union members to freely employ their perfectly natural inclination to anal and genital-based modes of expression .
" Reporters who were granted interviews with selected union members were later observed to flee en masse , following an impromptu demonstration of the effectiveness of service monkey commentary .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>A human spokesperson for the ServiceMonkey union today announced a general strike aimed at eliminating the "barbaric and demeaning mandate that all service monkeys be required to wear diapers while traveling.
"Our selfless service monkeys cannot speak, and forcing them to wear diapers effectively silences their primary means of communication.
We are here today to assert the right of all our union members to freely employ their perfectly natural inclination to anal and genital-based modes of expression.
"Reporters who were granted interviews with selected union members were later observed to flee en masse, following an impromptu demonstration of the effectiveness of service monkey commentary.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615742</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269548220000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><blockquote><div><p>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"? Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?</p></div></blockquote><p>

It's samzenpus. And it is only samzenpus. He only posts "idle" articles. Sometimes he posts them in "idle" (he did one earlier today), but most often he posts them in other sections -- even though they are always idle-quality articles.<br> <br>

Taco, really... enough is enough -- give smazenpus his own site. Or at the very least stop him posting articles in sections other than "idle". And get his articles out of the main RSS feed. I DO NOT ever want to read another of his articles ever, ever again. I cannot do this because his crap keeps appearing in the main feed, disguised as actual tech news.<br> <br>

It is only fair that we have a choice whether to read this crap or not, if it is in the RSS feed we DO NOT have the choice. FIX IT!</p></div>
	</htmltext>
<tokenext>What has this , or half the articles on the front page lately , have to do with " News for Nerds " ?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about " Service Monkeys " ?
It 's samzenpus .
And it is only samzenpus .
He only posts " idle " articles .
Sometimes he posts them in " idle " ( he did one earlier today ) , but most often he posts them in other sections -- even though they are always idle-quality articles .
Taco , really... enough is enough -- give smazenpus his own site .
Or at the very least stop him posting articles in sections other than " idle " .
And get his articles out of the main RSS feed .
I DO NOT ever want to read another of his articles ever , ever again .
I can not do this because his crap keeps appearing in the main feed , disguised as actual tech news .
It is only fair that we have a choice whether to read this crap or not , if it is in the RSS feed we DO NOT have the choice .
FIX IT !</tokentext>
<sentencetext>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?
It's samzenpus.
And it is only samzenpus.
He only posts "idle" articles.
Sometimes he posts them in "idle" (he did one earlier today), but most often he posts them in other sections -- even though they are always idle-quality articles.
Taco, really... enough is enough -- give smazenpus his own site.
Or at the very least stop him posting articles in sections other than "idle".
And get his articles out of the main RSS feed.
I DO NOT ever want to read another of his articles ever, ever again.
I cannot do this because his crap keeps appearing in the main feed, disguised as actual tech news.
It is only fair that we have a choice whether to read this crap or not, if it is in the RSS feed we DO NOT have the choice.
FIX IT!
	</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615348</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269546960000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>It's part of the "mock the TSA / Security" modus operandi<br>Much like the "Blame Micro$oft", "Love Linux", "Bush = Hitler" headlines you should have come to expect by now.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>It 's part of the " mock the TSA / Security " modus operandiMuch like the " Blame Micro $ oft " , " Love Linux " , " Bush = Hitler " headlines you should have come to expect by now .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>It's part of the "mock the TSA / Security" modus operandiMuch like the "Blame Micro$oft", "Love Linux", "Bush = Hitler" headlines you should have come to expect by now.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615392</id>
	<title>Service monkeys?</title>
	<author>Eggbloke</author>
	<datestamp>1269547140000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>These sound cool, where can I get one. And most importantly; will it make me sammiches?</htmltext>
<tokenext>These sound cool , where can I get one .
And most importantly ; will it make me sammiches ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>These sound cool, where can I get one.
And most importantly; will it make me sammiches?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615668</id>
	<title>who needs a monkey</title>
	<author>FudRucker</author>
	<datestamp>1269548040000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>my gym partners' a monkey</htmltext>
<tokenext>my gym partners ' a monkey</tokentext>
<sentencetext>my gym partners' a monkey</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617290</id>
	<title>Re:Most Likely To Evince Inappropriate Comments</title>
	<author>cayenne8</author>
	<datestamp>1269510120000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Hell, I was double checking my calendar to see if it was April Fool's day or not....</htmltext>
<tokenext>Hell , I was double checking my calendar to see if it was April Fool 's day or not... .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Hell, I was double checking my calendar to see if it was April Fool's day or not....</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615106</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31620340</id>
	<title>Man Hospitalized After Being Attacked by Service M</title>
	<author>yyyimmortal</author>
	<datestamp>1269525180000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><a href="http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-service-monkey-attack,0,888016.story" title="ktla.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-service-monkey-attack,0,888016.story</a> [ktla.com]</htmltext>
<tokenext>http : //www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-service-monkey-attack,0,888016.story [ ktla.com ]</tokentext>
<sentencetext>http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-service-monkey-attack,0,888016.story [ktla.com]</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615936</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>b4dc0d3r</author>
	<datestamp>1269548940000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I think nerds need to be aware that there is such a thing as a service monkey.  Further, once we gain this knowledge, the natural question is since you people want to search my notebook, how does this apply to my newly discovered awareness of service monkeys?  Do they check for flingable poo?  Do they check to see if it can urinate on command?  Can they touch my monkey?</p><p>The number of duplicate posts with duplicate explanations about whether the monkey may be touched or spanked clearly suggests nerds are interested in these things.  Next time don't post, and it will look like fewer people are interested.  And I apologize for adding to the post count on the story, but you asked.  Next time don't ask, even rhetorical questions, because someone will answer.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I think nerds need to be aware that there is such a thing as a service monkey .
Further , once we gain this knowledge , the natural question is since you people want to search my notebook , how does this apply to my newly discovered awareness of service monkeys ?
Do they check for flingable poo ?
Do they check to see if it can urinate on command ?
Can they touch my monkey ? The number of duplicate posts with duplicate explanations about whether the monkey may be touched or spanked clearly suggests nerds are interested in these things .
Next time do n't post , and it will look like fewer people are interested .
And I apologize for adding to the post count on the story , but you asked .
Next time do n't ask , even rhetorical questions , because someone will answer .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I think nerds need to be aware that there is such a thing as a service monkey.
Further, once we gain this knowledge, the natural question is since you people want to search my notebook, how does this apply to my newly discovered awareness of service monkeys?
Do they check for flingable poo?
Do they check to see if it can urinate on command?
Can they touch my monkey?The number of duplicate posts with duplicate explanations about whether the monkey may be touched or spanked clearly suggests nerds are interested in these things.
Next time don't post, and it will look like fewer people are interested.
And I apologize for adding to the post count on the story, but you asked.
Next time don't ask, even rhetorical questions, because someone will answer.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617726</id>
	<title>Re:I'LL Say It: Shock The Monkey!!!</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269511920000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>You wanna double-check that reference there, bub?</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>You wan na double-check that reference there , bub ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>You wanna double-check that reference there, bub?</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616660</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616924</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>winomonkey</author>
	<datestamp>1269509040000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Perhaps the poster meant <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code\_monkey" title="wikipedia.org">Code Monkey</a> [wikipedia.org]?  Or maybe the poster is afraid that first they check our service monkey's diapers, then they check our code monkey's diapers?</htmltext>
<tokenext>Perhaps the poster meant Code Monkey [ wikipedia.org ] ?
Or maybe the poster is afraid that first they check our service monkey 's diapers , then they check our code monkey 's diapers ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Perhaps the poster meant Code Monkey [wikipedia.org]?
Or maybe the poster is afraid that first they check our service monkey's diapers, then they check our code monkey's diapers?</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616016</id>
	<title>Everybody's got something to hide...</title>
	<author>RevWaldo</author>
	<datestamp>1269549240000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>...except me and my monkey!</htmltext>
<tokenext>...except me and my monkey !</tokentext>
<sentencetext>...except me and my monkey!</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614922</id>
	<title>Where's Dieter When You Need Him?</title>
	<author>filesiteguy</author>
	<datestamp>1269545460000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Redundant</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Touch my monkey!<br>Touch him!<br><br>Sorry, that's what first popped into my head.</htmltext>
<tokenext>Touch my monkey ! Touch him ! Sorry , that 's what first popped into my head .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Touch my monkey!Touch him!Sorry, that's what first popped into my head.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615926</id>
	<title>I fucking knew it...</title>
	<author>g0bshiTe</author>
	<datestamp>1269548880000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>"The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection"<br> <br>The TSA wants to see our monkeys people.</htmltext>
<tokenext>" The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey 's diaper as part of the visual inspection " The TSA wants to see our monkeys people .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>"The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection" The TSA wants to see our monkeys people.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615284</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>beakerMeep</author>
	<datestamp>1269546720000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>Well this is like the only funny idle article I have ever seen, so I think you and your monkey might want to chill and have <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8MDNFaGfT4" title="youtube.com">banana and a PB&amp;J.</a> [youtube.com]</htmltext>
<tokenext>Well this is like the only funny idle article I have ever seen , so I think you and your monkey might want to chill and have banana and a PB&amp;J .
[ youtube.com ]</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Well this is like the only funny idle article I have ever seen, so I think you and your monkey might want to chill and have banana and a PB&amp;J.
[youtube.com]</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614936</id>
	<title>Take off the monkey's diaper as part of inspection</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269545520000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>5</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>There is actually 1.75 trillion dollar roll out of monkey-sized body scanners. When the project is finished, you will no longer be required to remove your animal's diaper, but technicians may laugh at your monkey's banana.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>There is actually 1.75 trillion dollar roll out of monkey-sized body scanners .
When the project is finished , you will no longer be required to remove your animal 's diaper , but technicians may laugh at your monkey 's banana .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>There is actually 1.75 trillion dollar roll out of monkey-sized body scanners.
When the project is finished, you will no longer be required to remove your animal's diaper, but technicians may laugh at your monkey's banana.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615216</id>
	<title>Re:That's not unusual.</title>
	<author>Wyatt Earp</author>
	<datestamp>1269546480000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Interestin</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>When I travelled through Canada to get to Alaska we took our pets. The two cats were easy, vet paperwork saying they didn't have rabies and had shots etc.</p><p>We also have three reptiles, a Green Iguana who is 15 years old, a Central Inland Bearded Dragon and a Saharan Uromastyx (orange). I looked up the rules on taking exotics into Canada and there is some conflicting information.</p><p><a href="http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/anima/imp/petani/amphe.shtml" title="inspection.gc.ca" rel="nofollow">http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/anima/imp/petani/amphe.shtml</a> [inspection.gc.ca] and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency told me -<br>"Reptiles do not require any certification from CFIA but they do need CITES permits." I don't have CITES permits, so I printed out the page that said I don't need anything and went to the border. Oh in emailing the CFIA they said I needed CITES permits, photos of the reptiles in question mailed to them and to wait 6-12 weeks for permit.</p><p>I go to the border with reptiles in the backseat of the car, in clear plastic containers where the Iguana does what he does best, stands still as a rock. We didn't tell them about the lizards, but there they were, up high and in plain sight. No questions asked.</p><p>We get to the US border crossing and the agent looks into the car and says "How did you get those into Canada? Did they know you brought them in???"</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>When I travelled through Canada to get to Alaska we took our pets .
The two cats were easy , vet paperwork saying they did n't have rabies and had shots etc.We also have three reptiles , a Green Iguana who is 15 years old , a Central Inland Bearded Dragon and a Saharan Uromastyx ( orange ) .
I looked up the rules on taking exotics into Canada and there is some conflicting information.http : //www.inspection.gc.ca/english/anima/imp/petani/amphe.shtml [ inspection.gc.ca ] and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency told me - " Reptiles do not require any certification from CFIA but they do need CITES permits .
" I do n't have CITES permits , so I printed out the page that said I do n't need anything and went to the border .
Oh in emailing the CFIA they said I needed CITES permits , photos of the reptiles in question mailed to them and to wait 6-12 weeks for permit.I go to the border with reptiles in the backseat of the car , in clear plastic containers where the Iguana does what he does best , stands still as a rock .
We did n't tell them about the lizards , but there they were , up high and in plain sight .
No questions asked.We get to the US border crossing and the agent looks into the car and says " How did you get those into Canada ?
Did they know you brought them in ? ? ?
"</tokentext>
<sentencetext>When I travelled through Canada to get to Alaska we took our pets.
The two cats were easy, vet paperwork saying they didn't have rabies and had shots etc.We also have three reptiles, a Green Iguana who is 15 years old, a Central Inland Bearded Dragon and a Saharan Uromastyx (orange).
I looked up the rules on taking exotics into Canada and there is some conflicting information.http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/anima/imp/petani/amphe.shtml [inspection.gc.ca] and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency told me -"Reptiles do not require any certification from CFIA but they do need CITES permits.
" I don't have CITES permits, so I printed out the page that said I don't need anything and went to the border.
Oh in emailing the CFIA they said I needed CITES permits, photos of the reptiles in question mailed to them and to wait 6-12 weeks for permit.I go to the border with reptiles in the backseat of the car, in clear plastic containers where the Iguana does what he does best, stands still as a rock.
We didn't tell them about the lizards, but there they were, up high and in plain sight.
No questions asked.We get to the US border crossing and the agent looks into the car and says "How did you get those into Canada?
Did they know you brought them in???
"</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614942</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31624902</id>
	<title>Scratch Monkey</title>
	<author>T.E.D.</author>
	<datestamp>1269612540000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext>This will be quite helpful for Hewlett-Packard (formerly DEC) support staff. Since 1980 they routinely bring their own <a href="http://catb.org/jargon/html/S/scratch-monkey.html" title="catb.org">scratch monkeys</a> [catb.org] on support trips.</htmltext>
<tokenext>This will be quite helpful for Hewlett-Packard ( formerly DEC ) support staff .
Since 1980 they routinely bring their own scratch monkeys [ catb.org ] on support trips .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>This will be quite helpful for Hewlett-Packard (formerly DEC) support staff.
Since 1980 they routinely bring their own scratch monkeys [catb.org] on support trips.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617822</id>
	<title>old news</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269512400000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>This information has been available on their website for some time, at least a few years.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>This information has been available on their website for some time , at least a few years .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>This information has been available on their website for some time, at least a few years.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616774</id>
	<title>Are they going to..</title>
	<author>kheldan</author>
	<datestamp>1269508620000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><a href="http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Shock-the-Monkey-lyrics-Peter-Gabriel/211CD9CC8590515B482568E400052ACF" title="sing365.com">..Shock the Monkey</a> [sing365.com]?</htmltext>
<tokenext>..Shock the Monkey [ sing365.com ] ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>..Shock the Monkey [sing365.com]?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617754</id>
	<title>slashdot deleting comments?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269512100000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I've posted two comments complaining about the comment system itself. Both have vanished.</p><p>WTF</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I 've posted two comments complaining about the comment system itself .
Both have vanished.WTF</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I've posted two comments complaining about the comment system itself.
Both have vanished.WTF</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615040</id>
	<title>God damn you all to hell!</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269545820000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I have been waiting YEARS to use that one.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I have been waiting YEARS to use that one .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I have been waiting YEARS to use that one.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614884</id>
	<title>A service monkey?  Really?</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269545340000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>If the monkey needs a diaper... and it is supposed to be the more cognizant of the two traveling companions... Something is wrong (and I sure as hell don't want to sit next to either on a flight).  Sorry, maybe the whole hands-for-feet thing gives them some special abilities, but if the monkey can't even decide when to and when not to take a dump, is he really doing you any good?</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>If the monkey needs a diaper... and it is supposed to be the more cognizant of the two traveling companions... Something is wrong ( and I sure as hell do n't want to sit next to either on a flight ) .
Sorry , maybe the whole hands-for-feet thing gives them some special abilities , but if the monkey ca n't even decide when to and when not to take a dump , is he really doing you any good ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>If the monkey needs a diaper... and it is supposed to be the more cognizant of the two traveling companions... Something is wrong (and I sure as hell don't want to sit next to either on a flight).
Sorry, maybe the whole hands-for-feet thing gives them some special abilities, but if the monkey can't even decide when to and when not to take a dump, is he really doing you any good?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616226</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>v1</author>
	<datestamp>1269549960000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p><i>Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?</i></p><p>Stay tuned, tomorrow's story will be about <b>servicing</b> the monkeys.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about " Service Monkeys " ? Stay tuned , tomorrow 's story will be about servicing the monkeys .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?Stay tuned, tomorrow's story will be about servicing the monkeys.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992</id>
	<title>wtf?</title>
	<author>Pharmboy</author>
	<datestamp>1269545700000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Interestin</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?  Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>What has this , or half the articles on the front page lately , have to do with " News for Nerds " ?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about " Service Monkeys " ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"?
Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615322</id>
	<title>Re:A service monkey? Really?</title>
	<author>eln</author>
	<datestamp>1269546840000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>2</modscore>
	<htmltext>The diaper serves as a handy carrying case for the monkey, in case they have to poo now, but won't have anyone nearby they want to fling it at until later.  If your helper monkey has some sort of grudge against TSA agents, perhaps because of being treated as a terrorist just because it has hair on its face, it's highly recommended you change the monkey's diaper before going through security.</htmltext>
<tokenext>The diaper serves as a handy carrying case for the monkey , in case they have to poo now , but wo n't have anyone nearby they want to fling it at until later .
If your helper monkey has some sort of grudge against TSA agents , perhaps because of being treated as a terrorist just because it has hair on its face , it 's highly recommended you change the monkey 's diaper before going through security .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>The diaper serves as a handy carrying case for the monkey, in case they have to poo now, but won't have anyone nearby they want to fling it at until later.
If your helper monkey has some sort of grudge against TSA agents, perhaps because of being treated as a terrorist just because it has hair on its face, it's highly recommended you change the monkey's diaper before going through security.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614884</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617242</id>
	<title>Re:wtf?</title>
	<author>Pharmboy</author>
	<datestamp>1269509940000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>1</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>I just went into my preferences and chose to exclude samzenpus.  Not sure if that excludes him from RSS, but I generally don't use RSS anyway, so that should work for me.  I appreciate humorous articles here as much as the next guy, assuming they are actually related to technology in some way.  If I want just random stupidity, I can just go to <a href="http://www.theonion.com/" title="theonion.com">The Onion</a> [theonion.com].  I used to come here to get *informed* about what is going on in the world in general, as it applies to technology.  Guess I need to explore all the filtering options available here, didn't used to have to do that.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>I just went into my preferences and chose to exclude samzenpus .
Not sure if that excludes him from RSS , but I generally do n't use RSS anyway , so that should work for me .
I appreciate humorous articles here as much as the next guy , assuming they are actually related to technology in some way .
If I want just random stupidity , I can just go to The Onion [ theonion.com ] .
I used to come here to get * informed * about what is going on in the world in general , as it applies to technology .
Guess I need to explore all the filtering options available here , did n't used to have to do that .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>I just went into my preferences and chose to exclude samzenpus.
Not sure if that excludes him from RSS, but I generally don't use RSS anyway, so that should work for me.
I appreciate humorous articles here as much as the next guy, assuming they are actually related to technology in some way.
If I want just random stupidity, I can just go to The Onion [theonion.com].
I used to come here to get *informed* about what is going on in the world in general, as it applies to technology.
Guess I need to explore all the filtering options available here, didn't used to have to do that.</sentencetext>
	<parent>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615742</parent>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31617846</id>
	<title>Had to be said</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269512460000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>Gir, Gir, Release the monkey.</p><p>Sorry just had to put my Invader ZIM reference to the monkey.</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>Gir , Gir , Release the monkey.Sorry just had to put my Invader ZIM reference to the monkey .</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Gir, Gir, Release the monkey.Sorry just had to put my Invader ZIM reference to the monkey.</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31628150</id>
	<title>I think that...</title>
	<author>Anonymous</author>
	<datestamp>1269625260000</datestamp>
	<modclass>None</modclass>
	<modscore>0</modscore>
	<htmltext><p>...my brain has finally been damaged irreparably.</p><p>All of this "security" crap and papers! paper! Achtung! is seriously getting out of hand...  (Actually it was out of hand right from the get go, but we were once free...)</p></htmltext>
<tokenext>...my brain has finally been damaged irreparably.All of this " security " crap and papers !
paper ! Achtung !
is seriously getting out of hand... ( Actually it was out of hand right from the get go , but we were once free... )</tokentext>
<sentencetext>...my brain has finally been damaged irreparably.All of this "security" crap and papers!
paper! Achtung!
is seriously getting out of hand...  (Actually it was out of hand right from the get go, but we were once free...)</sentencetext>
</comment>
<comment>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614944</id>
	<title>But..</title>
	<author>Locke2005</author>
	<datestamp>1269545520000</datestamp>
	<modclass>Funny</modclass>
	<modscore>3</modscore>
	<htmltext>Will they spank my monkey if he misbehaves? Or will I need to do that myself?</htmltext>
<tokenext>Will they spank my monkey if he misbehaves ?
Or will I need to do that myself ?</tokentext>
<sentencetext>Will they spank my monkey if he misbehaves?
Or will I need to do that myself?</sentencetext>
</comment>
<thread>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#thread_10_03_25_1547249_8</id>
	<commentlist>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31666290
http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614884
</commentlist>
</thread>
<thread>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#thread_10_03_25_1547249_22</id>
	<commentlist>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31615944
http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992
</commentlist>
</thread>
<thread>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#thread_10_03_25_1547249_13</id>
	<commentlist>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31618572
http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616660
</commentlist>
</thread>
<thread>
	<id>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#thread_10_03_25_1547249_10</id>
	<commentlist>http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31616152
http://www.semanticweb.org/ontologies/ConversationInstances.owl#comment10_03_25_1547249.31614992
</commentlist>
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