2nd Year Skit Song Lyrics ---------------------------------------------------------- To the tune of Bon Jovi’s "Living on a Prayer" Jure was a busy post doc Undergrads on strike He’s down on his luck...its tough, so tough Works for his advisor all day When he cries in the night Kleinberg whispers, Jure its okay, someday He says we’ve gotta sub-mit what we’ve got cause it doesn’t make a difference If its true or not We’ve got pretty graphs and that’s a lot For acceptance, at WWW Whooah, we’re half way there Workn’ on a Paper Take my grants and well make it - I swear Workn’ on a Paper Weve got to submit ready or not You pad the introduction when its all that you’ve got Whooah, we’re half way there Workn’ on a Paper Take my grants and well make it - I swear Workn’ on a Paper ------------------------------------------------------ To the tune of Britney Spear's "Oops I did it again" I think I did it again. I made you believe you're my advisor. Oh, Bobby It might seem like teamwork, But it doesn't mean That I'm serious. 'Cause to change my mind... That is just so typically me. Oh, Bobby, Bobby Oops! ... I did it again. I played with your funds and wasted your time. Oh, Bobby, Bobby Oops! ... You think I'm your student. That I like your research I'm not that interested. ------------------------------------------------------------------ To the tune of Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back" aka "I like Big Butts": [Talking - Theory Person] Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her runtime. It is so big. *scoff* She looks like, one of those brute force algorithms. But, you know, who understands those coders? They only use her, because, she’s easy to implement, 'kay? I mean, her runtime, is just so big. I can't believe it's just so huge, it's like, exponential, I mean - gross. Look! She's just so ... inefficient! I like big O and I can not lie Us theory folks can't deny That when an algorithm’s found with a linear bound Even if the constants high You get published, but its not enough 'Cause they’ll notice that big O is stuffed with $k$ so high it’s glaring I'm hooked and I can't stop staring [Coder] Oh Vasu, I wanna believe you But I’ve read the reviews My homeboys tried to warn me But that n log n? so perfect for me Ooh, big O’s deceiving You say you wanna get in my code? Say use me, use me 'Cause you ain't an average search tree I've seen them crashin' No heap space for recursion' You're slow, yet, Big O’s like a turbo 'Vette I'm tired of theoreticians Sayin' small big O’s the thing Take the average runtime and ask for that Cause big O’s out of whack ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the tune of The Beatles' "Hey Jude" Free food, dont make it bad. Take a sad lunch and make it better. Remember, right after faculty lunch, They've got the funds, to make it better. Free food, dont be afraid. Stay for the talk, right here in Upson (rhyme with Aladdin's) And if you, don't understand it at all Just nod your head, and enjoy Aladdin's. And every Tuesday Papa John's, brown bag, it's on, We'll carry the pizza on our shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool who let's it cool By making his slice a little colder. Free food, it's in the lounge. Got the email, now run, run faster Remember to microwave it a bit, Then you can start to make it warmer. So bring it out and let me in, free food, begin, Just waiting for that talk to be over. And well you know sometimes it's crude, but free food, will do Poor students, we beggars can't be choosers. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the tune of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a girl" This was never the way I planned Not my intention I got so brave, paper in hand Lost my discretion It's not what, I'm used to But, better stuff to do Playing on- line poker Caught my attention *Chorus* I failed a class and I liked it Didn’t get no partial credit I failed a class just to try it I hope my advisor don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm any less bright I failed a class and I liked it I liked it No, I don't even know its name It doesn't matter, Thought the material was lame Not worth a semester, It's not what, Good grads do Not how they should behave My head gets so confused Hard to obey Chorus ------------------------------------------------ To The tune of 50 cent's "Candy Shop" Welcome to the Systems Lab... Yeah... Uh huh So amazing *Chorus* I'll take you to the systems lab I'll show you the machines we have Go 'head, you can read or write (-rw-r--r--) Your quota is a terabyte WHOAH I'll take you to the graphics lab To find it you’ll need a map I'll have you trying every trick Keep rendering 'til you got the pic WHOAH You can run your code here, how d'you want it played You gonna back that thing up? Or should I push it on RAID? Temperature rising okay let's chill not fluster Process thrashing? Let's move to a cluster I'll parallelize it now baby it's simpler If you be a hacker I'll be a hacker Using Java C++ or Perl C# or Python Whatever rocks your world Got the kernel mode I'm the king of threads I'll make it run for you set up your testbed (JUNIT) I'll show you how to work it baby, no problem I'm a genius really when it comes to bug-solvin Get it coded, then call me I'll fix the draft When it works we can chill and play World o Warcraft I'm trying to explain baby the best way I can I know how machines work And I've got a plan. Chorus ------------------------------------------------------------------ To the tune of Yael Naim's "New Soul" I'm a first year I came to this strange school Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to do research But since I came here, had to be a TA Finding myself swamped with work no time for somethin' else La, la, la, la (21x) La, la, la, la (21x)