![]()
|
|
|
CONSENSUS
Despite some genuine wit, this crowd pleaser is filled with too many cliches.
CAST & CREW
Vinnie Jones, David Kelly, David Hemmings
Directed by Barry Skolnick
more...
SYNOPSIS
In this remake of THE LONGEST YARD, Robert Aldrich's 1974 Burt Reynolds prison tale concerning inmates who organize themselves into a football team and compete against the guards, British director Barry Skolnick pulls together a ruthlessly funny cast and changes the resident sport to soccer. more...
MPAA RATING
R, for language and some violence
RUNTIME
1 hour, 39 minutes
RELEASE DATES
Theatrical: Feb 22, 2002
Video: Jul 16, 2002
RELEASE COMPANY
Paramount Classics
GENRE
Comedies, British, Prison/Prisoners, Sports, Remake
OFFICIAL SITE
• The Official Mean Machine Site
------------------------------
PARENTS EVALUATION
TRAILER & MEDIA
TIDBITS
SUBMIT/EDIT ARTICLE
SUBMIT USER REVIEW
FORUM
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Page:
1 | 2   |
|
 "[It's] a prison soccer movie starring charismatic tough guy Vinnie Jones, but it had too much spitting for me to enjoy."
-- Victoria Alexander, FILMSINREVIEW.COM
"An even more predictable, cliche-ridden endeavor than its predecessor."
-- Todd Anthony, SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL
"Director Barry Skolnick and his screenwriters glibly tick off every point of "The Longest Yard" playbook like a checklist."
-- Sean Axmaker, SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
"The whole affair is as predictable as can be."
-- Robert W. Butler, KANSAS CITY STAR
"Contains all the substance of a Twinkie -- easy to swallow, but scarcely nourishing."
-- Warren Curry, FILMCRITIC.COM
"By the final whistle you're convinced that this Mean Machine was a decent TV outing that just doesn't have big screen magic."
-- Harry Guerin, RTE INTERACTIVE (DUBLIN, IRELAND)
"Plays like a series of vignettes -- clips of a film that are still looking for a common through-line."
-- Jon Lap, APOLLO GUIDE
"Another useless recycling of a brutal mid-'70s American sports movie."
-- Joe Leydon, SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER
 "A winning crowd-pleaser with more than enough juice to crossover with fans of all stripes, regardless of whether they even know anything about soccer or not."
-- Wade Major, BOXOFFICE MAGAZINE
"This amiable picture talks tough, but it's all bluster -- in the end it's as sweet as Greenfingers ..."
-- Maitland McDonagh, TV GUIDE'S MOVIE GUIDE
"With a completely predictable plot, you'll swear that you've seen it all before, even if you've never come within a mile of The Longest Yard."
-- Steve Rhodes, STEVE RHODES' INTERNET REVIEWS
"There's just something about watching a squad of psychopathic underdogs whale the tar out of unsuspecting lawmen that reaches across time and distance."
-- Steve Schneider, ORLANDO WEEKLY
"Boasts not a single moment that's either fresh or credible; it's just
a rehash of material that's been done to death several times
before."
-- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION
|
|
"On its own, it’s not very interesting. As a remake, it’s a pale imitation."
-- David Cornelius, AMAZING COLOSSAL WEBSITE
"... a polished and relatively sincere piece of escapism."
-- Daniel Eagan, FILM JOURNAL INTERNATIONAL
"The scriptwriters are no less a menace to society than the film's characters."
-- Andrew Howe, FILM WRITTEN MAGAZINE
"Follows the original film virtually scene for scene and yet manages to bleed it almost completely dry of humor, verve and fun."
-- Shawn Levy, OREGONIAN
"A fairly enjoyable mixture of Longest Yard ... and the 1999 Guy Ritchie caper Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels."
-- Moira MacDonald, SEATTLE TIMES
"La cinta comienza intentando ser un drama, rápidamente se transforma en una comedia y termina por ser una parodia absolutamente predecible"
-- Luis Martinez, CINENGANOS
"It's still a hoot, sports cliches, prison movie cliches and all."
-- Roger Moore, ORLANDO SENTINEL
"It's guaranteed to make you laugh... but whether that's at it or with it is a matter of taste."
-- Jamie Russell, BBCI FILMS
"Worth a look as a curiosity."
-- Jim Slotek, JAM! MOVIES
"Given that both movies expect us to root for convicted violent felons over those assigned to protect us from same, we need every bit of sympathy the cons can muster; this time, there isn't much."
-- Luke Y. Thompson, NEW TIMES
|
|
|
ROTTEN 40%
Avg. Rating: 5.3/10 |
"Jones ... does offer a brutal form of charisma."
-- Mark Adams, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER
"Earnest yet curiously tepid and choppy recycling in which predictability is the only winner."
-- Jay Carr, BOSTON GLOBE
"Jones helps breathe some life into the insubstantial plot, but even he is overwhelmed by predictability."
-- Gary Dowell, DALLAS MORNING NEWS
"The formula is familiar but enjoyable."
-- Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
"A minor-league soccer remake of The Longest Yard."
-- Justine Elias, VILLAGE VOICE
"The only thing that could possibly make them less interesting than they already are is for them to get full montied into a scrappy, jovial team."
-- Owen Gleiberman, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
"No movement, no yuks, not much of anything."
-- Rick Groen, GLOBE AND MAIL
"The humor is hinged on the belief that knees in the crotch, elbows in the face and spit in the eye are inherently funny."
-- Edward Guthmann, SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE
"It's mildly entertaining, especially if you find comfort in familiarity. But it's hardly a necessary enterprise."
-- Eric Harrison, HOUSTON CHRONICLE
"Dramatically lackluster."
-- Desson Howe, WASHINGTON POST
|
|
"... Jones, despite a definitely distinctive screen presence, just isn't able to muster for a movie that, its title notwithstanding, should have been a lot nastier if it wanted to fully capitalize on its lead's specific gifts."
-- Bob Strauss, LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS
|
|
| Page:
1 | 2 |
|
* Who are the Approved Tomatometer Critics?
* Mouse over a tomato icon for a publication's original rating. Original rating not available for every publication.
* In fairness to critics whose last name begins with a letter at the end of the alphabet, certain pages are sorted in reverse order, z-a.
* Certain "Mean Machine" article data provided by the Movie Review Query Engine.
|
|
|
|
greeneggshamlet
| Why you should get to know me: "Dwight is anything but conventional — he even puts his shoes and pants on in unconventional ways." |
|
|
|
Log In 
