" i just have this feeling that everything is completely safe , " says the local sheriff , late in lake placid . i don't think anyone in the film , or watching it , would disagree with him this has got to be one of the worst creature flicks ever , because its creature , a giant crocodile , is so terribly lifeless . timid , too : a character played by oliver platt ( he's an , um , croc-spert ) is swimming very slowly backward , away from his subject , the crocodile following closely , and never once is there an attack at the opportune time . later , bridget fonda - forgive me , actual character names didn't stick - is engaged is some kind of underwater battle ( and , btw , when you finally do resurface , maybe be more out of breath so we can at least pretend you were down there that long ) with the crocodile , as it languorously swings open its long jaws just at the potential victim's feet , but only tries for the kill once fonda is safely behind a tree big enough only to shroud her tiny frame . could she outswim the beast , when we've already seen it swiftly lunge ashore and drag both a cow and a bear into the water ? not likely . but , there's a trend : no actor with star billing is killed . or , severely injured ; not one of them . only in the beginning , with a diver tagging beaver , and then with a town deputy , do deaths occur . ok - i sound morbid ; don't mean to , it's just that with something that moves as quickly as this crocodile does on land , to have it be so laidback and non-threatening the rest of the time , namely during confrontations with most of the cast , is boring . earlier , the platt character explains that freshwater crocs do not usually attack _in_ the water . so , what about the aforementioned diver ? or , fonda's narrow escape ? contradictions in logic aside , lake has a pleasant , sunny look , and some witty , insult-laden dialogue for fonda . all of which is cute , while it lasts ; you can literally feel the film run out of energy and resources and plot , and then all but evaporate from the screen . 100 minutes seems like 30 , here , because there's nothing going on . and , every time our monster makes an appearance , the effect is that of a wet blanket thrown over a wet blanket . it moves too slow , but maybe that's because of it's age ( 150 years , we are told ) ; plus , there was all that swimming from asia . and , when it takes to land , it will thrash about , chomping every which direction , but will not make contact . how unbelievably dull . best line : hard to choose one more ridiculous than , " don't throw heads at me ! " 
