" it's not important how many people i've killed . what's important is how i get along with the people that are still alive , " jimmy " the tulip " tudeski ( bruce willis ) solemnly informs a very nervous nick " oz " oseransky ( matthew perry ) once oz discovers jimmy's profession . this line , and the way in which it is delivered , are great examples of how funny " the whole nine yards " can be . the problem is , that while it can be hilarious , the film also has a tendancy to drag at times . the ending goes on for far too long , and the humor occasionally falls flat . however , when the film pulls its humor off , it's hysterical . oz is a dentist who is so tired of life with his commanding wife , sophie ( rosanna arquette ) , that he spends his mornings smashing his head against his steering wheel while driving to work . his secretary , jill ( a hilarious amanda peet ) , is constantly trying to convince him to divorce his wife but oz knows that sophie will get everything in the divorce settlement . to add to his miseries , oz discovers that his new neighbor is hitman , jimmy " the tulip " tudeski . it turns out that there is a price on jimmy's head , courtesy of his associate back in chicago , yanni gogolack ( kevin pollak ) . sophie wants oz to go back to chicago , deliver the whereabouts of jimmy , and collect a finder's fee . oz is of course averse to doing this , since it will most likely involve jimmy's killing oz upon his return . once he arrives in chicago , oz meets up with another hitman named frankie figgs ( michael clark duncan ) , who is apparently working for yanni . the situation grows steadily worse for poor oz from there . " the whole nine yards " is one of those fun movies like " mars attacks " and " galaxy quest " , where you can tell that the entire cast is having a great time making the film . when a cast acts in this manner it usually carries over to the audience , as is the case here . bruce willis's comic talents lie mainly in his deadpan delivery of lines , and he is given ample oppurtunity to display this talent throughout the film . i believe that matthew perry's primary talent is his wide range of facial expressions , and again , he is given the chance to utilize this ability throughout the movie . despite the considerable comic abilities of both these actors , they are overshadowed by amanda peet's ( " isn't she great " , " simply irresistable " ) hysterical performance as the secretary who wants desperately to become a contract killer . " the whole nine yards " has an amazingly complex plot , considering what a goofy little movie it appears to be at first glance . the film is filled with double crosses , backstabbing , and false identities . every character involved wants some other character dead , and there are various little subplots relating to these . unlike " gun shy " from earlier this year , the romantic elements to " the whole nine yards " don't feel tacked on and useless . though difficult to take seriously , they blend with the rest of the film quite well . the cast members work very well together , particularly bruce willis and amanda peet . the two of them have a grand old time playing teacher and student in a very unlikely profession . peet is so overcome with hero worship for the elder hitman , she is willing to do anything ( and i mean anything ) to win his approval . the only cast member i found to be rather out of place here was rosanna arquette as the hideous wife of oz . the problem is , i can't imagine anyone playing a grotesque character like this . the other major flaw with the film is the amount of time spent on the ending . the movie could have ended fifteen minutes earlier than it does with no problem . one more thing i must note is that " the whole nine yards " is definitely a guy movie . nearly every guy in the theatre i attended was laughing uproariously at the movie , while most of the women present seemed rather baffled by the humor . " the whole nine yards " runs a little too long at 100 minutes , but it doesn't start to drag too badly till the end . i'd recommend it to fans of matthew perry and bruce willis . if you dislike these actors , i'd suggest you stay far away from this one . i give the movie three and a half out of five stars . comments ? feel free to e-mail them to : <a href= " mailto : johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net " >johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net</a> for past reviews , movie news , and other fun stuff , visit : <a href= " http : //www . dependentfilms . net " >http : //www . dependentfilms . net</a> * * * * * - one of the greatest movies ever made , see it now . * * * * - great flick , try and catch this one . * * * - okay movie , hits and misses . * * - pretty bad , see it only if you've got nothing better to do . * - one of the worst movies ever made . see it only if you enjoy pain . 
