martin lawrence is not funny . for the proof just turn to his newest film , what's the worst that could happen ? -- the answer to its own question if ever there has been one . i don't know how martin lawrence -- the former 1987 star search winner with an arrest record that would make tommy lee envious -- has been able to survive with all of the bad , bad films he has starred in during the past 6 years . [two words : bad boys . -ed . ] big momma's house , blue streak , life , and a thin line between love and hate are all forgettable movies which can be found in quantity on the clearance table at your local video store . but survive he has , and in worst , lawrence is a mediocre eddie murphy stuck playing another jewel thief in another run-of-the-mill studio comedy . worst revolves around a ridiculous cat-and-mouse game between a thief named kevin caffery ( lawrence ) who gets caught burglarizing media conglomerate ceo max fairbanks ( danny devito ) , who in turn steals kevin's lucky ring given to him by his girlfriend . kevin then vows to get the ring back at any cost -- thus setting up numerous comedic situations to follow that play out like a homogenized sitcom . the cast is rounded out with an annoying latino sidekick ( john leguizamo ) , a one-dimensional girlfriend ( carmen ejogo ) who spends half the movie whining about kevin's numerous exploits in retrieving the ring , a super-fly white guy hacker who uses more apple products than jeff goldblum to hack into max's e-mail and surveillance system , and kevin's sharp-tongued mentor ( bernie mac ) -- who deserves much better roles than bit parts in martin lawrence comedies . the comedy plays out like a henny youngman joke . kevin and his cronies break into max's miami penthouse dressed up like arabic princes and steal pac contributions intended for shady senate sub-committee members . kevin calls max on his cell phone -- he answers it during a senate sub-committee hearing ! -- and max then curses at kevin via the television cameras as the sign-language interpreter makes enough obscene gestures to would make the diceman blush . whoa ho ! sam weisman's ( george of the jungle ) direction is lopsided and uninteresting , and the film's pacing is worse than betty white running the boston marathon . the jokes are cheap , predictable , and come solely at the expense of others . every race and lifestyle -- gay , black , german , arabic , and white , to name but a few -- are used as easy targets . danny devito walks through his role as max fairbanks as a mini-gordon gekko crossed with his louie de palma character from taxi . the biggest insult comes in the guise of underrated actor william fichtner -- playing a sexually ambiguous detective dressed up like a 1970's bowie doll who is trying to nail ( ahem ) max for all of his shady business deals . what's the worse that could happen ? . . . besides the release of this film ? sadly , blue streak 2 is in pre-production , for which lawrence will receive a $20 million dollar paycheck . now , that's bad . 
