simply irresistible reviewed by jamie peck<hr>rating : * ( out of * * * * ) 20th century fox / 1 : 36 / 1999 / pg-13 ( language , sexual suggestiveness ) cast : sarah michelle gellar ; sean patrick flanery ; patricia clarkson ; dylan baker ; betty buckley ; larry gillard jr . director : mark tarlov screenplay : judith roberts <hr>tv's buffy finds herself on the other side of the supernatural spectrum in " simply irresistible . " sarah michelle gellar , that never-ceasing crusader against never-ending evil every tuesday night on the wb network , here plays a down-on-her-luck chef suspected of dabbling in witchcraft after her flailing restaurant receives help in the form of magically scrumptious meals . taste test results : some vampire slaying , though out of place , would have really livened this excruciating movie up . " simply irresistible " is actually quite easy to deny , a disaster of culinary and other proportions pretty much from the opening on . gellar's amanda finds herself falling for harried henri bendel exec tom ( sean patrick flannery of powder ) around the same time she discovers an uncanny ability to mystically manifest emotions in her cooking , a secret ingredient that arouses both his interest in her and the public's in her tiny tribeca eatery . all this love and sorcery have a lot to do with the telekinetic crab that also figures into the story , a tale that at times plays like an american spin on 1993's mexican classic " like water for chocolate . " several differences : one , " like water " didn't have a telekinetic crab , and two , " like water " was a good film . " simply irresistible , " on the other hand , is about as challenging as an easy-bake oven . amateurishly staged scenes cancel each other out in their badness , from an embarrassing seduction in a literal vanilla fog to an impromptu dance sequence where tom and amanda do their best fred and ginger - though fred and ginger never took part in anything this garish . the intrusive musical score distracts from the flat dialogue at regular intervals , but it's not like you're were going to miss much . in fact , take away the few instances of salty language and this has made-for-disney channel written all over it . but a majority of " simply irresistible " 's resistibility factor has less to do with the afore-mentioned overkill than the bland leads - tom and amanda are so thin and ambiguously defined that there's just no fun rooting for their inevitable " happily ever after . " nor do the otherworldly powers that serve to bring them together make sense , so we're left with a ho-hum relationship based on enchanted eclairs ; it's not going to last long , people . perhaps sensing this , the filmmakers have piled on weird supporting characters for acting vets like betty buckley , dylan baker and patricia clarkson , but they don't go anywhere either . in fact , nothing in " simply irresistible " goes anywhere save for gellar , and she doesn't go somewhere so much as you wish she'd go _somewhere_ - like to a better movie . already proving major talent with relatively few big- and small-screen roles , she's the sole reason this overcooked souffle isn't completely fit for the garbage disposal , looking smashing in her todd oldham-designed duds and investing much more in her perfunctory part than she ever gets in return . it's certainly a dish best not served in it's current condition , but one can only guess that , without gellar , " simply irresistible " would be strictly unwatchable . <hr>© 1999 jamie peck e-mail : <a href= " mailto : jpeck1@gl . umbc . edu " >jpeck1@gl . umbc . edu</a> visit the reel deal online : <a href= " http : //www . gl . umbc . edu/~jpeck1/ " >http : //www . gl . umbc . edu/~jpeck1/</a> " she doubles up in pain . her body is wracked by great cataclysmic sobs . her two friends weep in sympathy , the three of them wailing and gnashing . so great is their grief that mere words cannot encompass it , and they sink to the ultimate form of lamentation : they clean house . bitter salt tears course down their cheeks as they ajax the bathtub and bab-o the pots and pans , while the audience collapses in disbelieving laughter . " -roger ebert on " let's talk about sex " 
