some houses should never be visited . and some movies should never be remade . the haunting represents both of those tenets . a loose remake of the 1963 haunting , this version gives us a creepy haunted house and four hapless people to populate it . chief among them is eleanor ( taylor ) , a real wacko who believes there are children's spirits in the house that speak to her . and she's right ! wow , original ! and hey kids , the sexy zeta-jones plays a * bisexual * in the movie ! oooooh , scandalous ! ( sarcasm , people . ) so how does jan de bont , made famous as director of speed but best-known as the director of speed 2 : cruise control , get to make a horror film ? he was probably the only sucker in hollywood desperate enough to take a dog of a film like this . the fact that he's never done a horror flick just compounds the problems . as a result , the haunting is not scary -- at all . instead it's just a conglomeration of cheap fright tactics and a booming bass track meant to get you to jump out of your seat . which doesn't work . the haunting also features such a dumb story line and such bad dialogue it's almost pathetic . for a horror film to be frequently * boring * is unforgivable . and i wager that anyone who bothers to spend money on this lemon won't be able to forgive themselves either . a really cool set ( that ultimately serves no purpose ) is the only shining spot in the film . otherwise , feel free to skip this one . 
