that's exactly how long the movie felt to me . there weren't even nine laughs in nine months . it's a terrible mess of a movie starring a terrible mess of a man , mr . hugh grant , a huge dork . it's not the whole oral-sex/prostitution thing ( referring to grant , not me ) that bugs me , it's the fact that grant is annoying . not just adam sandler-annoying , we're talking jim carrey-annoying . since when do eye flutters and nervous smiles pass for acting ? but , on the other hand , since when do really bad slapstick ( a fistfight in the delivery room culminating in grant's head in joan cusack's lap--a scene he paid $60 to have included in the movie ) and obscene double entendres ( robin williams , the obstetrician , tells grant's pregnant girlfriend she has " a big pussy , " referring of course to the size of the cat hairs on her coat , but nonetheless , grant paid $60 to have the exchange included in the movie ) pass for comedy ? nine months is a predictable cookie-cutter movie with no originality in humor or plot . hugh grant plays a successful child psychiatrist . why a child psychologist ? so the scriptwriters could inject the following unfunny exchange : 
