director : guy ferland writer : guy ferland ( based on a story by robert coover ) starring : alicia silverstone , jeremy london , nicky katt , j . t . walsh , lee garlington , george segal everybody in this film's thinking of alicia . no , this is not a documentary on those of us after we first saw the " cryin' " video . this is one of those erotic thrillers , but not like one starring shannon whirry or shannon tweed . first off , there's zero sex , almost no nudity , and it's not as well-plotted as one of those tweed flicks . well , anyway . the " plot . " alicia plays , well , the babysitter , who is taking care of some kids one night while the parents ( j . t . walsh and lee garlington ) go out to a party . the film , trying to be like one of those introspective erotic thrillers , shows every characters' thoughts , except alicia's . the thing is alicia's in most of them in most cases , and the thoughts aren't too kosher . first off , there's her boyfriend ( jeremy london , who gave one of the all-time lousy performances in " mallrats , " and is only a notch better here ) , who's a dorky kid who hangs out with a kind of bully , played by nicky katt from " suburbia " ( who shows he's got that quiet creepiness down pat once again ) . they decide they want to crash her babysitting job , looking for the typical babysitting hanky-panky . somethine like that . the film intercuts between the subplots ( alicia babysitting , nicky and jeremy , the party ) and each characters' thoughts . we get to see jeremy and nicky's dreams of doing a little threeway with alicia , j . t . thinking of coming home to find alicia naked in the bathtub ( she has it all covered up , the little tease ) , and , worst of all , lee garlington dreaming of that hunk , george segal . it even shows them in bed together . yea . i so wanted to see george and lee garlington in bed , though i guess i'm used to george after seeing her and mary tyler moore fooling around in " flirting with disaster . " the ending is some kind of big tragedy thing , but come on . like we care about any of the characters . the only interesting one is alicia , mainly because she's alicia , and we mostly see her in the fantasies . so i guess she's some kind of mystery or something . but she is never explored further . so , basically , this film is just a series of mastabatory images , sometimes featuring a non-nude alicia ( once again , sadly ) , sometimes featuring a scantily-clad george segal ( once again , sadly ) . i watched this on one of those free previews of showtime or cinemax one night , and let me tell you , it is the only way to watch this film . i mean , there's a reason they put these kinds of films on late at night : they're just as good as sleeping pills . and this one is one big fat waste of time , even for an alicia film . 
