teaching mrs . tingle ( 1999 ) * 1/2 . written and directed by kevin williamson ; photography , jerzy zielinski . editing , debra neil-fisher . production design , naomi shohan . music , john frizzell . produced by cathy konrad . cast : helen mirren ( mrs . tingle ) , katie holmes ( leigh ann watson ) , jeffrey tambor ( coach wenchell ) , barry watson ( luke churner ) , marisa coughlan ( jo lynn jordan ) , liz stauber ( trudie tucker ) , michael mckean ( principal potter ) , molly ringwald ( miss banks ) , vivica a . fox ( miss gold ) . a dimension films release . 93 minutes . pg-13 kevin williamson's first feature as director is a fizzle . he has been one of the new , hot hollywood screenwriters since 1996 , beginning with scream ( and later with scream 2 ) . his popular but puerile i know what you did last summer ( 1997 ) deserves what a critic ( in , i think , time ) wrote about the 1965 i saw what you did . his full review : " and i wish to hell i hadn't . " in 1998 williamson also created the tv series " dawson's creek , was an uncredited writer for halloween h20 , and scripted the faculty . according to an ap story " much of his work is based on things that really happened to him . " in particular , a high school teacher described as a true monster crushed all his hopes for becoming a writer . the discouragement was repeated in a college writing class . poor kevin ! but at least and at last his deep traumas found their way into his eventual success as a writer , and certainly in his creation of the revenge movie teaching mrs . tingle which centers on a small town school's history teacher from hell . american high school pictures are a genre with hundreds of entries , especially following the success of the appealing fast times at ridgemont high ( 1982 ) . most of them try to be amusing and depict students doing anything except studying and learning . in the light as well as in the few " serious " pictures the teachers are the victims of their classes . the grandpa of such works may be the famous the blackboard jungle ( 1955 ) whose screening at the cannes festival brought out protests by americans because " of the bad name it gave u . s . schools . " teaching mrs . tingle turns the tables on most high-school films , as mrs . t . , a martinet and a tyrant , is the persecutor of the kids . the title was originally killing mrs . tingle , but given the increasing rash of real-life school killings , it was changed . there may be a loss of audience among some amateurs of teacher-murder , but since there are no corpses in the film , " teaching " is a better title and has the benefit of catchy alliteration . yet even then , the name tingle sends the wrong message . it would have been fine if it evoked someone who does things to you , such as appeal or titillation . on the other hand , could this be an attempt at irony , which is something that mrs . t likes to define , and to dispense nastily and sarcastically to all : students , staff , colleagues , administrators --and most likely to grocery clerks , waiters , salespeople and everybody else . worse yet , she's a master of put-downs which inevitably make all wilt in her presence and all hate her . she even uses her unpleasantness to get her wishes via innuendoes , as when she blackmails the principal whose secret ( he's in alcoholics anonymous ) she knows . the story . graduating leigh ann watson ( katie holmes ) is the top candidate for valedictorian . all she needs is another a , which will get her a college scholarship - indispensable , since her mother ( a single ) does not have the means to pay tuition . the girl slaves over a first-rate project for her history class which she presents to mrs . tingle . probably jealous of leigh's looks and promising future , and , as later revealed , frustrated by her own life ( she was herself a student in that school and had been unable to leave that small town ) , mrs t deprecates the project and gives leigh a grade of c . desperate leigh and her best friend marisa ( a lively actress wannabe ) , run into classmate barry , a good-looking slacker on whom marisa has a crush . he has just gotten an illegal copy of the history final . horrified , leigh takes it away from him , puts it in her bag . in one of the first artificial developments of the movie , mrs . t walks in , somehow spots the exam , and guarantees expulsion for leigh . the youngsters , trying vainly to explain leigh's innocence , have to resort to a visit to mrs . t's home but the teacher , considering them as invaders , throws them out . and here begin a dumb , dull , unreal chain of events that do not deserve analysis . fake semi-climaxes follow one another . the status of the kids goes from bad to worse after they tie mrs . t to her bed . for three ( i believe , but who cares ? ) days , during which mrs . t gets fed but never goes to the bathroom . involved , among other artifacts and events are a crossbow ( sic ) , the loss of leigh's presumed virginity , and a visit by mrs . t's secret lover , or at least sex partner . he goes by the nickname spanky , which gives you a clue about the couple's activities . the man is an awfully unlikely a choice . i will not reveal who plays him except that it 's a waste of an actor who has been marvelous on cable tv . the movie is a waste of the audience's time and of the performers' abilities , including molly ringwald . she has been relegated to a tiny , innocuous part as office help and substitute teacher . michael mckean , that superbly versatile actor of film ( coneheads , etc . , etc . ) and tv ( brian benben's aussie boss in hbo's dream on ) has a mere cameo , which cries out for expansion . otherwise , the movie belongs entirely to ms mirren . england's helen mirren has been on much tv and many films for decades . she is a great actress who , in the usa at least , in spite of dozens of movies in which she held main or supporting roles , is far from a household name . the reasons ? she is a mature woman and not the regulation gorgeous chick . not all of her films have been displayed , and if so , insufficiently . many of the best were specialty " art " items : the long good friday , cal , pascali's island , the cook the thief his wife and her lover , some mother's son , and others . she eventually acquired some name recognition through the madness of king george and the several prime suspect tv series ( as detective , then superintendent jane tennison ) her mrs . tingle showcases her talent . not only as a demonic teacher , but as a diabolical captive who manipulates her captors with speech --while tied to her bed . proud , coaxing , menacing , scheming , attempting to disunite the youngsters , and eventually pathetic , she does not merely steal the show , she is the show . but even ms mirren cannot save this concoction where contrived drama and would-be humor co-exist without ever hitting their marks . 
