* ( out of 4 = poor ) 1995 , g , 90 minutes [1 hour , 30 minutes] [comedy] starring : michael roescher ( hank royce ) , kristy young ( jinnie sue macallister ) , justin garms ( voice of gordy ) , james donadio ( gilbert sipes ) , written by leslie stevens , jay sommers , dick chevillat , produced by sybil robson , directed by mark lewis . " gordy " is not a movie , it is a 90-minute-long " sesame street " skit , and a very bad one at that . this movie is so stupid and dumb that it's depressing to think that some hollywood executives actually gave this the green light , and even more surprising is the fact that this is a disney movie . i'm sure children are the target audience of this movie , but only kids under the age of five may be able to tolerate it . it is the story of a farm a piglet named gordy ( voiced by garms ) , whose family has been taken away to " up north , " which we know means death . of course we can hear the animals talk to each other , and they actually went to the trouble of attempting to sync the voices with their mouths but it comes out terrible . actually , it's almost funny in a way . the only remotely interesting and likable character soon appears , a little girl named jinnie sue macallister ( young ) who sees gordy on the back of a truck and essentially steals him . jinnie is a country singer and the film goes off on a huge tangent to show her little concert and the people dancing to it . what is the point of this ? maybe she is one of the producer's relatives and they wanted to show her on camera to promote her or something . we then cut to a huge social gathering and drop in on another young kid named hank royce ( roescher ) who is sad because his divorced mother is dating . he leaves the party and meets jinnie sue , but he accidentally falls in a pool ( probably because he was sitting on the diving board with a $200 suit on - nah , didn't see that one coming ! ) , starts to drown , and is miraculously saved as gordy pushes an inflatable float over to him and saves him . if this had not been insanely stupid already the story quickly changes when jinnie gives gordy to hank who then ends up becoming the ceo of a food processing corporation when hank's grandfather , the original ceo , dies and leaves his fortune to hank . . . and gordy ! of course there must be a villain , but even this villain ( donadio as sipes ) isn't that evil . he never raises his voice or becomes angry , and of course he has the typical idiot goons kidnap gordy but this is just so beyond stupid and cartoony we are constantly two steps ahead of the story . it's hard to tell whether the overall corniness and cheesiness to the movie is intentional because it is a family film , or if the filmmaker's are just this untalented and stupid . at times " gordy " is tolerable to watch , thus earning it one star and not the dreaded " z- . " but it's just so unbelievably boring , cliche , dumb , unfunny , corny , and just plain bad it may scare children , it certainly disturbed me . ( 4/21/96 ) ( 1/29/97 ) ( 6/13/97 ) [see also : " babe " ]please visit chad'z movie page @ <a href= " http : //members . aol . com/chadpolenz/index . html " >http : //members . aol . com/chadpolenz/index . html</a> 
