directed by keenen ivory wayans . screenplay by phil beauman , jason friedberg , buddy johnson , aaron seltzer , marlon wayans , shawn wayans . starring anna faris , marlon wayans , regina hall . running time : 86 minutes . rated aa for mature subject matter and offensive language by the mfcb . reviewed on july 7th , 2000 . how do you review a film like " scary movie " ? certainly not on the basis of plot . the " story " of a spoof is usually just a framework for gags -- to assess it on that criterion would be like judging a dress on the quality of the hanger . acting isn't really all that important either , as long as the performers possess a certain amount of charisma and some notion of comic timing . direction ? virtually irrelevant . cinematography ? get real . no , all that matters in deciding whether or not " scary movie " is any good are the laughs . and " scary movie " is the first parody i've seen in years that has laughs in droves . but fair warning first : i'm a big fan of the " naked gun " movies . i enjoyed " spaceballs " . if your sense of humor runs contrary to my own , this review likely won't apply much to you . " scary movie " started life as two separate screenplays -- " scream if you know what i did last halloween " and " last summer i screamed because friday the 13th fell on halloween " -- which were merged into one by director keenen ivory wayans . ironically , the final moniker was a working title for " scream " , the progenitor of the current crop of teen-oriented slasher films . if you haven't already guessed , " scary movie " is a pastiche of this whole genre . if you've been avoiding these sorts of pictures , you might want to give this one a pass too , as you might not get many of the jokes . the storyline of " scary movie " broadly follows the plot of " scream " , with elements of other films ( notably " scream 2 " and " i know what you did last summer " ) thrown in for good measure . we again start off with a big star making popcorn . in " scream " it was drew barrymore ( playing " casey becker " ) , here it's carmen electra ( playing " drew becker " , wink wink ) . the phone rings , and sure enough it's a serial killer on the other line , wearing the same ghostface get-up as in " scream " . the voice on the phone wants to know what the noise is . carmen explains she just farted . the killer was referring to the popcorn . soon carmen is racing through the house and across her lawn . she comes to a signpost with arrows reading " safety " and " death " pointing in opposite directions . you can probably guess the rest . the movie plays out predictably from there , as teens are stalked and slain by the masked villain -- or is it villains ? but , really , who cares about the story ? it barely even makes sense , and the ending is particularly incredulous . what is important is the way " scary movie " subverts its source material , and this it does very well . the " father death " mask , for instance , has gained the miraculous ability to reflect its owner's mood , generating some bizarre visuals when the killer is toquing up . toward the end , the ( ? ) murderer does a terrific imitation of matthew lillard , one of " scream " 's homicidal teenagers . " scary movie " doesn't just target the slasher genre , either . everything from " the matrix " to " dawson's creek " is up for grabs here , and there are some great send-ups of human behaviour . one of my favourite scenes has black actress regina hall attending a showing of " shakespeare in love " . in a terrific pastiche of rude moviegoers ( and , in particular , the reputation african-americans have of talking back to the screen ) , hall just doesn't stop chattering . she even talks on her cell phone , loudly , to the disgust of the all-white , upper-middle-class crowd . ghostface slinks into the audience to stab hall , but the audience gets to her first , pulling out their own weapons . " this is for 'schindler's list' ! " exclaims a hassidic jew . you'll have to hear for yourself what film hall ruined for the pope . ( when i saw " scary movie " , there was a moron waving a laser pointer across the screen during certain scenes -- the first time i've encountered this particular brand of rudeness at a local theatre . intriguingly , they stopped doing it after the scene i've just described . coincidence ? ) not all the jokes are winners , though , and " scary movie " is hamstrung by following the plot of " scream " a little too closely ; greater variation would have made for a funnier , more dynamic film . some of the humor is rather tired -- the gag of giving the characters cutesy , referential names ( " buffy " gilmore ) was even done already in " scream 3 " . and sometimes " scary movie " just doesn't know when enough is enough , like the running gag about ray ( shawn wayans ) being a closet homosexual . furthermore , whereas the truly great spoofs set you up with an obvious joke , then knock you down by taking it one step further , " scary movie " is often content to go only halfway . a parody of the confession scene from " the blair witch project " , for example , is an awful lot like every other " blair witch " parody of the past year . no doubt the most controversial aspect of " scary movie " will be the sheer explicitness of many jokes . remember two years ago , when the " franks and beans " scene in " there's something about mary " was considered groundbreaking ? well , there's a " franks and beans " scene about every fifteen minutes here , although for the most part they're pretty amusing , fortunately . consequently , parents may want to be wary of letting younger children attend " scary movie " . it strikes me as a movie for strictly high school age at minimum , and even that might be pushing it . amongst the cast , the only real standout is newcomer anna faris , playing sidney -- er , cindy campbell , succeeding impressively at portraying the virginal heroine while uttering and engaging in sheer filth . it's almost eerie . otherwise , the castmembers are basically just vehicles for the jokes . there aren't characters here , just ciphers and cliches . yes indeed , " scary movie " is plotless , crude , and possessed of mostly marginal performances -- all the things film critics are supposed to abhor . but did i laugh my ass off anyway ? you bet i did . do i recommend " scary movie " ? god help me , yes . copyright © 2000 shannon patrick sullivan . archived at the popcorn gallery , <a href= " http : //www . physics . mun . ca/~sps/movies/scarymovie . html " >http : //www . physics . mun . ca/~sps/movies/scarymovie . html</a> _______________________________________________________________________ / shannon patrick sullivan | " we are all in the gutter , but some of us \ | <a href= " mailto : shannon@mun . ca " >shannon@mun . ca</a> | are looking at the stars . 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