rating : * ( out of four ) new line / 1 : 46 / 1999 / r ( language , violence , clothed sex ) cast : charlize theron ; johnny depp ; joe morton ; clea duvall ; donna murphy ; nick cassavetes ; blair brown director : rand ravich screenplay : rand ravich<hr> in " the astronaut's wife , " charlize theron plays a young woman with a nervous demeanor , pixie-hairdo and demon spawn unwittingly growing in her belly . if only her name wasn't jillian , the makers of this embarrassing bit of sci-fi shlock could have come up with a far more appropriate title : " rosemary's species . " what a shame it is to see such a gifted actress as theron - oscar-worthy in " the devil's advocate " - struggle with the lamest rip-off of a screendom classic in recent memory . ok , maybe " the astronaut's wife " deviates from " rosemary's baby " turf for its set-up , which finds our heroine terrorized not by satan's minions but her possessed husband ( johnny depp ) , a shuttle pilot whose mission mishap leaves him , um , a changed man . predictably , he and the missus get it on in a sequence best described as unpleasant , his evil seed impregnating her with twins and realizing that great " bowfinger " line about " alien love . " theron's " advocate " character faced a similar dilemma , the horror there resonating strongly . " astronaut " provides only artificial anxiety . last year's equally noodle-headed " species ii " spun a similar premise about the breeding habits of an extraterrestrial on earth , but at least that movie more or less knew it was garbage . " the astronaut's wife " is grave and humor-free , passing its increasingly silly story off as full-fledged serious , right down to an ambiguous finale that isn't even going to satisfy those who've stayed with it thus far . here's a hint : it involves lots of water , electrical equipment , a special effect from " the abyss " and the tots who doubled up as adam sandler's co-star in " big daddy . " draw your own conclusions . director/writer rand ravich coats the proceedings in dynamic sights masterminded by legendary " e . t . " cinematographer allen daviau , but too often favors the film's visual presentation over the story he's trying to tell . this bodes horribly for each dramatic development , like the surfacing of a suspicious nasa official ( " speed " 's joe morton ) to instigate jill's slow and stupid comprehension of the truth . his hyper-erratic behavior is probably supposed to give wife a paranoid edge . instead , he adds to the phoniness . theron and depp are certainly beyond this junk and will get other chances to prove themselves this fall - she as part of an imposing ensemble case in the john irving adaptation " cider house rules , " he in the lead of tim burton's eagerly-awaited " sleepy hollow . " undeserving of such talent , " the astronaut's wife " manages to be derivative , dull and uninvolving despite its seemingly ripe potential for unintentional laughs . in space , no one can hear you scream . but in a movie theatre , everyone can hear you snore . <hr> © 1999 jamie peck e-mail : <a href= " mailto : jpeck1@gl . umbc . edu " >jpeck1@gl . umbc . edu</a> visit the reel deal online : <a href= " http : //www . gl . umbc . edu/~jpeck1/ " >http : //www . gl . umbc . edu/~jpeck1/</a> " the best possible argument for including [a shot of bruce] willis' genitals would have been that the movie , after all , contains everything else . " -roger ebert on " color of night " 
