( 1996 ) * 1/2 - c : tom arnold , david paymer , rod steiger , rhea perlman . keep in mind that this film is directed by arthur hiller , the man who is the president of the motion picture academy . the man who theoretically should have seen every good movie made since his term of office began . the man who directed the hilarious alan arkin/peter falk comedy " the in-laws " and also such acclaimed films as " love story " and " the hospital " . keep in mind that the film's producer , arnon milchan , has produced some of the best films in the last fifteen years , such as " the king of comedy " , " jfk " , and " falling down " . with such experience , these men know exactly what makes a movie great . which is why it's so shocking that " carpool " is a truly horrible mess . the plot is extremely simple . as a matter of fact , the plot is beyond simple . tom arnold robs a gourmet pastry shop , kidnaps david paymer and takes his minvan , only to discover that paymer was driving the neighborhood kids to school . and for the rest of the film they have to not get caught by the seattle police , who are portrayed as the most inept police force on the planet . what's so troublesome about the film is that it's " pg " . it's meant to be a kids film . but there are things in this film that are completely inappropriate for kids . there are gay jokes , jokes about breast enlargement , young teenage boys grabbing and feeling young teenage girls , and other such things . also , tom arnold is portrayed as a hero and the cops , of course , are idiots . good message for the children . and the worst thing about the film , regardless of what kinds of jokes there are , they just aren't funny , no matter how old you are . the crowd in the theater when i saw the film laughed once , and that was when a kid stuck a gummi bear up his nose . comedy gold to little kids you know . there were one or two lines in the film which i found humorous , but certainly not enough to carry the entire film . there's one ridiculous thing about a scene in the film i'd like to comment on ( there are many actually , but i just don't have that kind of time to comment on all of them ) . at one point the " good guys " are at a carnival , fleeing from the bad guys . one of the kids is riding a ferris wheel and someone bumps a lever and the ferris wheel starts to spin dangerously fast . and of course they have to save the kid . now , why would an amusement park ride have a setting on it which would never be used and is certain to cause death ? just a thought . now i need to justify why i saw this film . the only reason i watched it was because my favorite actor , rod steiger , was in it . arthur hiller was smart enough to get an actor he's worked with in the past ( 1976's " w . c . fields and me " ) and then not smart enough to give him anything to do . he's in the last five minutes of the film and he does a good job as always with what he's given , but it's just not enough . and hiller should be beaten for actually putting steiger in a clown outfit at the end and having him sell doughnuts at a carnival . booooooooooo mr . hiller . at one point in the film , david paymer says to someone " this isn't funny " . mr . paymer , you're exactly right . -- chuck dowling visit chuck's movie reviews at <a href= " http : //users . southeast . net/~chuckd21/ " >http : //users . southeast . net/~chuckd21/</a> over 1 , 500 movies rated and/or reviewed ! movie news , box office reports , film related links , and reader's polls and reviews . 
