i'm going to keep this one fairly short , folks . in fact , i'm not even going to attempt a plot summary because there isn't any plot in " black and white " . james toback , previously responsible for releasing the atrocious " two girls and a guy " on unsuspecting audiences back in 1997 , has created a true piece of garbage here . this is the kind of movie that screams for an nc-17 rating , being filled with fairly explicit sex scenes , constant violence , and more foul language than you hear in any quentin tarantino film . the mpaa rating system is supposed to keep kids from seeing a movie like this , but the theater i saw it in was filled with young high school students . i know it's naive to think that kids won't see a movie like this no matter what kind of rating it has , yet i can't help but think an nc-17 rating would have prevented at least a few kids from attending . first i'll try to cover what i liked about this movie , which shouldn't take too long . there are one or two slightly comical moments , though i can't seem to remember what they involved . that about sums up what i liked about this movie . i don't often award one or five star ratings , but i was very tempted to give only one to this piece of filth . i knew i was in trouble as soon as the film started with a semi-pornographic scene involving two of the main characters ( bijou phillips , power ) and one minor character in a threesome in the middle of the woods . i suppose the purpose of this scene was to convey how messed up these kids are , but it struck me as being present only for shock value . in fact , there are several sex scenes sprinkled throughout " black and white " which enhance the so-called story in no way . i will hand one thing to toback , he pulled in quite a cast . ben stiller , robert downey jr . , brooke shields , claudia schiffer , and the great joe pantoliano all make appearances in this god forsaken movie . stiller ( " there's something about mary " ) plays a gambler ( a somewhat autobiographical decision by toback i think ) who appears very few times and never quite fits in with the rest of the movie . robert downey jr . ( the horrendous " two girls and a guy " ) plays a gay man , who i believe was intended to be humorous but was simply vulgar instead . brooke shields ( " the blue lagoon " ) and claudia schiffer both show up in very minor roles , which distract the audience rather than add anything to the movie . last , but certainly not least , is joe pantoliano ( " the matrix " , " bound " ) , who is completely wasted as a father of two of the young , stupid characters . showing up in a hilariously pointless cameo is mike tyson himself . allow me to now point out the half dozen or so items which make this a horrendous movie . one , half the dialogue is completely unintelligble . the characters banter back and forth , swearing every other word and saying things which no one over the age of fifteen could possibly understand . two , there is no plot to speak of . there are a few subplots involving things like sports gambling and coping with ones identity , but none of these side stories are ever developed . three , i think this was supposed to be a profound look at racism and life in an inner city , but it succeeds only at insulting members of both races . fourth , there is no direction whatsoever . the movie jumps aimlessly from person to person and situation to situation without any idea where it is going . lastly , the film's ending left me with a sick feeling in my stomach . i normally don't give away plot points , but the movie's ending seems to imply that family can triumph over anything by doing things like pulling together to lie and cover up murders . " black and white " runs the longest 98 minutes you'll ever experience . i recommend it to absolutely no one and give it one and a half out of five stars . comments ? feel free to e-mail them to : <a href= " mailto : johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net " >johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net</a> for past reviews , movie news , and other fun stuff , visit : <a href= " http : //www . dependentfilms . net " >http : //www . dependentfilms . net</a> * * * * * - one of the greatest movies ever made , see it now . * * * * - great flick , try and catch this one . * * * - okay movie , hits and misses . * * - pretty bad , see it only if you have nothing better to do . * - one of the worst movies ever made . see it only if you enjoy pain . 
