spy kids ( 2001 ) antonio banderas , carla gugino , alexa vega , daryl sabara , alan cumming , tony shalhoub , teri hatcher , cheech marin , robert patrick , george clooney . music by danny elfman , gavin greenaway & heitor pereira , john debney , robert rodriguez and los lobos . written , edited and directed by robert rodriguez . 86 minutes . rated pg , 3 . 5 stars ( out of five stars ) review by ed johnson-ott , nuvo newsweekly www . nuvo . com archive reviews at <a href= " http : //reviews . imdb . com/reviewsby ? edward + johnson-ott " >http : //reviews . imdb . com/reviewsby ? edward + johnson-ott</a> to receive reviews by e-mail at no charge , send subscription requests to <a href= " mailto : ejohnsonott@prodigy . net " >ejohnsonott@prodigy . net</a> or e-mail <a href= " mailto : ejohnsonott-subscribe@onelist . com " >ejohnsonott-subscribe@onelist . com</a> with the word " subscribe " in the subject line . one of the best things about my job is that , every so often , a film still catches me by surprise . " spy kids " certainly did . an adventure story aimed primarily at children , the movie is smart , zippy fun . the production neither panders nor talks down to its audience . the brother and sister at the center of the tale are believable , likable kids and their parents are – get ready for this – intelligent , capable and loving . bathroom humor is kept to a minimum and the numerous well-staged action scenes avoid excessive violence . what a relief it is to be able to review an all-ages film on its artistic merits and not its ethics . consider the other pg rated " family friendly " movie in theaters now . " see spot run " has a mother going out of town , leaving her son with an idiot neighbor . body function humor abounds , including a slapstick bit that has the adult male lead repeatedly falling in dog poop . what really disturbs me are the jokes that bookend the film . the story begins with a police dog capturing a mobster and biting off one of his testicles in the process . at the hospital , the doctors explain that they replaced the testicle with a metal ball and joke that the victim is lucky the dog didn't bit off the other one , because two metal replacement balls would clack together . of course , the movie ends with the dog biting off the remaining testicle and shows prisoners laughing at the criminal as he clacks past their cells . somebody clue me in – when did genital mutilation become funny ? " spy kids " is a welcome antidote to the repellent " see spot run , " using imagination instead of cruelty and crudeness . carmen ( alexa vega ) and her younger brother juni ( daryl sabara ) live in a beautiful seaside home with their parents , gregorio ( antonio banderas ) and ingrid cortez ( carla gugino ) . mom and dad are a sultry couple devoted to their children . what the kids don't know is that they are also former spies . once agents from different countries assigned to " erase " each other , they instead fell in love , married and retired to raise a family . needless to say , they get drawn back to the business . shortly into their first joint mission , they are captured and end up in the headquarters of fegan floop ( alan cumming ) , a foppish hybrid of willy wonka and pee wee herman who hosts juni's favorite tv show . but there is evil behind the scenes , as inventors prepare an army of robots disguised as children . papa gregorio has the device necessary to radically increase the efficiency of the creatures and the bad guys will stop at nothing to get it from him . back at home , " uncle " felix ( cheech marin ) shows up to reveal mom and dad's secret to the kids . after a brief respite at a safe house filled with enough cool gadgets for a dozen sharper image stores , carmen and juni set off to find their parents and save the world , zooming through the sea in a submarine pod that looks like a goldfish , while a slew of wicked people ( including teri hatcher ) chase them . during the course of their adventures , they get to use jet packs , electroshock bubblegum and super-computer sunglasses . they watch as secret agents are transformed into bizarre creatures with silly putty faces and used as background characters on floop's tv show . they deal with guards that have huge thumbs where their arms , legs and heads would normally be ( why are the guards so ineffective ? because they're all thumbs ! ) they move from one colorful locale to another , including a nifty virtual reality room reminiscent of the holodeck from " star trek . " the storyline is silly and convoluted , but even at its most dense , it is easier to follow than either " mission : impossible " movie . director robert rodriguez ( " from dusk to dawn " ) maintains a frenetic pace , with the whole film clocking in at a mere 86 minutes . a bit less action and a little more character development would have been nice , but he does provide enough quiet moments for viewers to become fully invested in the family . alexa vega and daryl sabara make an agreeable brother and sister team , squabbling the way kids do , but coming together when it counts . antonio banderas and carla gugino are even better as the parents ; they quickly establish and maintain a great lusty chemistry while keeping their tongues properly in cheek during the action scenes . even the usually irritating alan cumming has some nice moments – a virtual cloud-backed chat between his character and juni is one of the best segments in the film . had rodriguez added a few more scenes like that , i would have enjoyed the film more ( and i definitely could have lived without the glaring product placement for a certain mc-ubiquitous company ) . regardless , " spy kids " is a hoot , offering fun for adults and children alike . and just think , they managed to do it without sacrificing a single testicle . 
