rated on a 4-star scale screening venue : odeon ( liverpool city centre ) released in the uk by columbia tristar on may 12 , 2000 ; certificate 15 ; 95 minutes ; country of origin usa ; aspect ratio 1 . 85 : 1 directed by diane keaton ; produced by nora ephron , laurence mark . written by delia ephron , nora ephron ; based on the book by delia ephron . photographed by howard atherton ; edited by julie monroe . " hanging up " is not the worst movie i have ever seen , but it is the only one i can think of that made me want to pull out a gun and start shooting at the images onscreen . it's a horrible experience , as if somebody had discovered my pet peeves and decided to devote a whole film to winding me up . although i own a cellphone and am acquainted with whiny women , they are both things i detest , and for emergencies only . watching them for 95 minutes is not my idea of a good time . the film is supposed to be the story of a man's family reacting to his descent into death . it's actually just an irritating bunch of phone conversations between three witless sisters , who might actually develop personalities if they cancelled their at&t subscriptions and lived in the real world . meg ryan plays eve , the one who stays by her father's hospital bed , deals with his eruptions of dementia , and calls up everyone else , trying to get them to visit him . maddy ( lisa kudrow ) , the youngest sibling , is an insecure little tramp who complains that nobody will take her seriously ; she doesn't think it odd that at age 29 she was still dreaming of becoming a rock star , and in her mid-30s she expects she's going to be an actress . georgia ( diane keaton ) , the eldest , is smarmy , dishonest and lies about her personal life when it will bring her gain . so much of " hanging up " takes place on the phone , with the annoying trio barking insipid platitudes down receivers , that when i left the cinema my ears were still ringing from clicks , beeps and dial tones . perhaps this movie was inevitable , such is contemporary society's obsession with telecommunication . delia and nora ephron , who wrote the screenplay , and diane keaton , the director , seem to think this presentation of people is normal , and that's rather sad . worse is the grating nature of the performances . keaton plays her detestable character with the kind of glee that shoves right into our faces and makes us want to scream . ryan is unconvincing , because she uses the same disorganised comic presence as in " when harry met sally " and " joe versus the volcano " , and expects it to work when her character is supposed to be a cornerstone of emotional stability . as for lisa kudrow , well , she's a joke , who exudes stupidity from all of her phoney body , dead eyes , and flat , sarcastic whimper of a voice . you know when you're on a crowded train , and you're wedged into the window seat when three other people need to sit in the same booth as you ? " hanging up " is a lot like that , as long as the three people are vapid yuppie bitches whining and crying about their boyfriends and families into mobile telephones that play a little tune when they ring . this is a film that could get gandhi's blood boiling . if it becomes your wife's favourite video , no sane jury will convict you of domestic abuse . copyright ( c ) 2000 ian waldron-mantgani please visit , and encourage others to visit , the uk critic's website , which is located at <a href= " http : //members . aol . com/ukcritic " >http : //members . aol . com/ukcritic</a> 
