directed by : john ottman written by : silvio horta , paul harris boardman , scott derrickson the events of the first " urban legends " film have become urban legends themselves . the only person still hanging around to talk about them is the security guard , reese ( loretta devine ) . she's now at a different school , but the same thing seems to be happening again . this time , film student amy mayfield ( jennifer morrison ) is making a movie about the killer from the first movie . professor solomon ( hart bochner ) encourages her to proceed , as does her friend and fellow student film director , travis stark ( matthew davis ) . so , gathering a crew of film students , she sets about making her movie . there's just one problem , a real serial killer has started wiping out her cast . amy's theory is that it's another film student who is seeking to kill all competition for the much coveted alfred hitchcock award . the award includes a large sum of cash , and a chance to direct a real motion picture in hollywood . now amy and her friends have to find out who the killer is before she runs out of crew members . could it be graham ( joey lawrence ) , the student making another slasher movie ? or how about toby ( anson mount ) , the slightly off kilter sound guy . of course , the real mystery is to find out if anyone really cares . hah ! sorry , that just slipped out . truth be told , i couldn't help but laugh at this stupid movie . i think i would have lost my mind if i hadn't . " urban legends : final cut " is such a ridiculously stupid movie you'll probably spend half your time staring blankly at the screen , shocked that this thing ever got the green light . i personally stumbled out of the theater searching vainly for something strong to drink . " ulfc " will appeal to one group , those who love mindless , cookie-cutter teen slasher movies . all the rest of us will react with varying degrees of disgust . at first i was actually willing to brush the film off with a two star rating for being yet another stupid , harmless slasher movie . then it did something flat out insulting . the writers had the gall to talk about hitchcock in this film . they dared to compare this piece of garbage to the master in any way ? i think that's punishable by death in some states ( or if it isn't , it certainly should be ) . i can picture the master right now , rolling in his grave at the thought of his name being thrown about in some cheesy teen movie . it's enough to make on violently ill . the cast in " ulfc " is full of your traditional teen movie stars . you know the type , people who are nice to look at but don't have anything even remotely resembling talent . first up is jennifer morrison ( " stir of echoes " ) . comely ? yes . talented ? far from it . she seems to have been educated at the jennifer lopez school for acting , where students are taught that talking softly makes you appear to have acting skills . next we've got matthew davis , making his first ( and hopefully last ) appearance in a feature film . i think matthew was educated at the freddie prinze school for acting . there they teach students to say little , but occasionally smile slightly at the camera so all the girls in the audience can swoon . he should get a refund , because i didn't hear any girls swooning . the talented anthony anderson ( " me , myself , and irene " ) makes an appearance as the school's film geek , but he has hardly any screen time . he does get one of the film's few truly funny scenes however . the remaining actors fall into the " don't care who they are or what they've done " category , with the exception of jessica cauffiel ( last seen destroying her boyfriend's car in " road trip " ) . jessica does a great job playing a girl who can't act . take that in whatever context you'd like . much as i'd like to blame john ottman for this movie i can't . why do i want to blame him ? well , i'm more than a little irritated with him for giving up composing ( he composed the great theme to the equally great " the usual suspects " ) so he could direct a movie like this . no , all the blame can rest firmly on the shoulders of the film's three writers ( another bad movie with multiple writers . what is this ? ) . this script is so insipidly stupid it doesn't deserve to be analyzed , but i'm going to anyway . first of all , the title makes no sense . granted , the characters are making a movie about the first " urban legends " film , but the killer doesn't kill based on urban legends ( except for the first victim , but that was the movie's only somewhat interesting scene ) . second , the mystery element is terrible . it's painfully obvious who the killer is . i won't say here of course , but if you don't figure it out you must have been asleep ( not that i can blame you for that . wish i'd fallen asleep ) . third , the movie is more predictable than - than - i can't even think of a comparison . you know exactly who is going to die from the first ten minutes of the movie . finally , the script borrows from everything . from " the blair witch project " , from ever slasher film ever made , even from " the usual suspects " ( at least there was a scene that had a usual suspects feel to it ) . okay , now that i've ground another movie into the dirt and spit on it , i guess i should make note of the film's good points ( this won't take long ) . there is one good gore scene for all the gore lovers out there . anthony anderson does have a few funny moments . that about does it . one thing that really shocked me was that we had a serial killer dressed in fencing garb ( or at least the mask ) and we didn't get one " en garde " or " touche " . that just shows lack of ability on the parts of the writers ( hah ! as though everything else didn't ) . the film's score is decent enough , and big surprise , it's by john ottman . " urban legends : final cut " runs 100 minutes , which is about an hour and a half too long . at one point the characters say that the question was asked , " is film more important than life ? " whoever asked that obviously never saw this movie . i recommend " ulfc " to those strange people who love cliche ridden , predictable teen slasher movies , but to no one else . i give the film one and a half out of five stars . oh ! before i forget , the film does contain one legitimate scare : it leaves itself open for a sequel . be afraid , be very afraid . comments ? send to : <a href= " mailto : johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net " >johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net</a>past reviews can be found at : <a href= " http : //www . epinions . com/user-elerad " >http : //www . epinions . com/user-elerad</a> or <a href= " http : //us . imdb . com/reviewsby ? john + beachem " >http : //us . imdb . com/reviewsby ? john + beachem</a> * * * * * - one of the best movies of the year . * * * * - great flick , try and catch this one . * * * - okay movie , hits and misses . * * - pretty bad , see it at your own risk . * - see this one only if you enjoy pain . <hr>get your private , free e-mail from msn hotmail at <a href= " http : //www . hotmail . com . 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