contrary to what the previews might have you believe , " deep blue sea " is not a film about smart sharks . i don't personally believe the sharks involved were particularly intelligent . the movie is actually about stupid people . for example , in one scene , our supposedly brilliant scientists are trapped in their cozy little underwater lab while a shark smashes the large window they're all staring through . the window cracks all over the place , water starts leaking through , and still the group continues to stare . finally , it shatters completely , and only samuel l . jackson's character has the brains to tell everyone to run . i truly believe that if he hadn't said anything , they all would have been washed out into the sea , still staring blankly ahead . this is simply one of the more idiotic scenes in an incredibly stupid movie . dr . susan mcalester ( saffron burrows ) is a driven scientist who is obsessed with finding the cure for alzheimer's . the problem is , she's not showing any results , and her funding is about to be cut . so she drags her benefactor , russell franklin ( samuel l . jackson ) , out to her little floating laboratory to show him all that she has accomplished . her crew consists of a shark expert ( thomas jane ) , a cook ( l . l . cool j ) , two scientists ( jacqueline mckenzie , stellan skarsgard ) , and the brainy , though irritating , computer expert ( michael rapaport ) . i think there were a few others , but it's obvious from the start that they're going to be shark food . the sharks at this lab are apparently smarter than the average bear , and as a result they are able to break free of their cages and wreak havoc . true to disaster movie formula , there is a massive hurricane at this time ( darn the luck ) . the valiant ( though still incredibly stupid ) crew tries to make it to the surface before the sharks make meals of them . before i go any further , i must confess to being afflicted by a massive fear of sharks . i remember reading about carpet sharks when i was a little kid , and how they hid in the sand , just waiting for some unsuspecting sap to swim nearby so they could have a snack . anyway , that fear has haunted me to this day , and " deep blue sea " still didn't scare me in the slightest . in this modern age , with its huge advances in computer technology , you'd think they could have made these sharks look mildly realistic . i'm afraid not folks . these look like something out of an old '50s movie , like " the lost world " ( the original , not the equally horrible '97 version ) . so i sat there , watching these stupid people being chased by incredibly fake looking sharks , and all that i could think was , please let either the sharks or the people die , so this torture will end . how this pitiful excuse for a script managed to attract an actor of samuel jackson's caliber will forever be a mystery to me . all i can figure , is he was either simply bored out of his mind , or the producers drove up to his house with a truck full of money ( which would explain why they couldn't afford decent special effects ) . with the exception of ll cool j , the remaining actors are unimpressive , even in roles which require them to do nothing more than run around screaming . as for poor ll cool j , he somehow manages to spark some life into his role as the hassled and underappreciated cook . the truth is , i really feel sorry for ll cool j . the man is not an untalented actor , yet he is handed nothing but rotten scripts ( " toys " , " any given sunday " ) . i believe he could do something with a good , comic script . i don't know if i can even recommend this film to fans of cheesy " b " horror movies , because it's not at all scary . however , i would recommend it to those of you who want to see how not to use digital technology . i suppose there are a few humorous scenes ( though i can't seem to remember what they were ) , and several unintentionally hilarious ones ( the massive sharks fitting through tiny little doors is a good example ) . " deep blue sea " runs an excruciatingly long 104 minutes , during which you'll either fall asleep , or be too awe struck at the stupidity of this film to do so . stay far , far away from this one or studios might think there is money to be made in creating more films like it . i grant it a sadly generous one and a half out of five stars . comments ? feel free to e-mail to : <a href= " mailto : johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net " >johnbeachem@dependentfilms . net</a> for past reviews , movie news , and other fun stuff , visit : www . dependentfilms . net * * * * * - one of the greatest movies ever made , see it now . * * * * - great flick . try and catch this one . * * * - okay movie , hits and misses . * * - pretty bad . see it if you've got nothing better to do . * - one of the worst movies ever . see it only if you enjoy pain . 
