Working With Partners

Breaking Up With Partners

It's like any "breakup" (bands, SOs, mates, friends, etc). There's no easy
way. The best thing to remember? Speak in terms of "I statements."

Call/talk with the person and explain in *calm* terms...say it this way:
"I'm sorry, but I need to work on my own or with another partner for the
rest of the semester."

If your soon-to-be ex-parnter asks why, avoid "you" statements. In
general, statements starting with "you are <this> and you are <that>" that
indicate faults hurt. Worse yet, they encourage arguments and
defensiveness. Also, all of us tend to love or hate things in others that
we see reflected in ourselves... so, "you" statements speak of oneself.
Choose them with care....

Instead, "I statements," such as "I want to end the partnership because
I'm not happy" or "I need a different partner to advance my CS degree,"
lessen the blow and avoid hurtful blame-games.

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