# Critters 2: The Main Course (1988)

### reviewed by
Jerry Saravia

Question: what sequel has none of the humor, wit, scares or horror of the original cult film "Critters"? Answer: "Critters 2." Easy enough. There have been bad sequels but none as excruciating to sit through as this one, which only shares one aspect of the original's flavor - the title with a number in front of it. It not only recaps the original film with nary a story, but it also lacks any substantial purpose other than to cash in on the original's brand name.

"Critters 2" has also has the distinction of being the most contrived of all sequels. It is so contrived that it has almost no reason to exist as a movie. Consider the plot for a moment. This time, the lovable Brad Brown (Scott Grimes, with an earring) is back, having helped to extinguish all those furball creatures from space years earlier. He returns to Grover's Bend, visiting his grandmother for Easter. Amazingly, he hardly spends any time with her, and instead peruses through some old photographs and a useless slingshot. But what do you know? The Critters' eggs that were left open for a sequel at the end of the original film are now hatching. I recall they were hatching already in the original's closing shot but never mind. Some of the local residents use them as Easter eggs, sold to them by an antique dealer! The new sheriff in town has to dress up as the Easter Bunny! And before you can say the words "unintentional comedy," the sheriff is killed by those mean little furb! alls with razor sharp teeth, and the local residents stay indoors at the local church. And Brad is blamed since his appearance in town coincides with the hatching of the Critters's eggs!!! Can the filmmakers be serious?

But low and behold, the bounty hunters, who are pursuing those furry creatures known as the Cripes (or is the Krites as indicated on the video cover box?), are back at the same damn town to blow them away with their perhaps unintentionally phallic, futuristic shot guns. This includes the return of actor Terrence Mann (as the long-haired Ug, the strongest of the bounty hunters) and Don Opper (the village idiot Charlie, who has become a bounty hunter himself), appearing as if he was sleepwalking through all this.

The original instilled some sense of dignity with Brad's family trying to protect themselves and their home from the Critters. This time, the human interest level is kaput - in fact, there is not one solid characterization throughout except for the fabulous character actor Barry Corbin (replacing M. Emmet Walsh from the original) as the colorful retired sheriff. Corbin, like Gene Hackman, could never give a lifeless performance if his life depended on it - if he were the main character, this cruddy, lazily patched together sequel might have some substance. The townspeople and the town remain anonymous with no real visible locale threatened except for the local church. There is a laughable, forced romance between Brad and a local reporter that makes after-school specials seem positively sultry by comparison. The critter action scenes are cut far too frantically, and the best the film can do is to show rolling furballs along the dusty roads. As it stands, "Critters 2" is as iner! t and undignified as they come.

Footnote: The most interesting thing to say about "Critters 2" is the scene where one of the bounty hunters tries to shape-shift their appearance into Freddy Krueger from "A Nightmare on Elm Street" ad. Fitting since "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: Dream Warriors" showed a clip from the original "Critters" just before a TV addict met a demise from dear old Freddy.

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E-mail me with any questions, comments or general complaints at jerry@movieluver.com or at Faust667@aol.com

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