# Small Soldiers (1998)

### reviewed by
Scott Renshaw

SMALL SOLDIERS (DreamWorks/Universal) Starring: Gregory Smith, Kirsten Dunst, Jay Mohr, Kevin Dunn, Phil Hartman, voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella. Screenplay: Gavin Scott, Adam Rifkin and Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio. Producers: Michael Finnell and Colin Wilson. Director: Joe Dante. MPAA Rating: PG-13 (violence, profanity, adult themes) Running Time: 104 minutes. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.

Some films are so bald-faced in their attempt to have it both ways that you just have to hand it to 'em for their chutzpah. On one level, for instance, it's obvious SMALL SOLDIERS wants to skewer gung-ho militarism. The set-up finds defense contractor Globotech purchasing a toy company with the cheerfully all-American name of Heartland, attempting to diversify before post-Cold War down-sizing down-sizes it right out of existence. Instructed by Globotech boss Gil Mars (Denis Leary) to create state-of-the-art action toys, designer Larry Benson (Jay Mohr) slips a prototype weapons system microprocessor into the new Commando Elite and Gorgonite action figure lines, creating intelligent, interactive toys designed "with the same rigorous standards demanded by the U.S. Defense Department" (perhaps the film's best joke).

The kicker is that the Commando Elite figures, led by Chip Hazard (voice of Tommy Lee Jones), are the merciless and vaguely racist bad guys, programmed to seek out and destroy the gentle, noble, home-seeking Archer (Frank Langella) and his insecure fellow Gorgonites (no one explains why the Gorgonites couldn't have been programmed as slightly more challenging antagonists than the therapy group from "The Bob Newhart Show"). When troubled teen Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith) allies himself with the Gorgonites, he too becomes a Commando target, along with his New Age-y parents (Kevin Dunn and Ann Magnuson) and his would-be girlfriend Christy (Kirsten Dunst). As Chip rallies his troops against the enemy, framed Patton-like by the U.S. flag and spouting a succession of non-sequitur patriotic cliches, it becomes clear that director Joe Dante and his team of writers want us to nod knowingly at how the destruction to come will be the result of hard-wired hyper-hawkishness.

Those same folks also know that the destruction to come will be considered bitchin' cool by a contingent in the audience which might be inclined to by SMALL SOLDIERS merchandise. In an era where action figure tie-ins are as much a part of popcorn movie-making as plastic fast food cups, SMALL SOLDIERS bypasses the inconvenient middle step of figuring out how to turn the characters into toys. It also bypasses the inconvenient middle step of explaining why we should side with the peace-loving Gorgonites when the film makes the Commando Elite's assault (complete with flaming tennis balls, nail guns and make-shift helicopters) look like so much fun. In many of his previous films (including GREMLINS, which is the most obvious model for SMALL SOLDIERS), Dante was able to give a dark edge to his invasions of suburban serenity. He loses that edge early on in SMALL SOLDIERS to meet the demands of marketing. It's almost as though the checks Mars (the God of War, get it?) passes out to every one at the end to buy their silence bought off the film-makers as well.

It would be easier to dismiss SMALL SOLDIERS if the result weren't so entertaining, not to mention frequently amusing. For adults, it will be clever mostly in an in-jokey sort of way, from references to GREMLINS' Gizmo to the use of he-man icons like Ernest Borgnine, George Kennedy and Clint Walker as voices for the Commando Elite. The rest of the voice talent -- Spinal Tap alums Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer re-united as Gorgonites; Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci voicing mutant versions of a Barbie-style doll -- isn't too shabby either. The humans may be a pretty boring lot (excluding Phil Hartman, in his last film role as Christy's consumer electronics-obsessed dad), but the combination of Stan Winston's animatronics and perfectly-integrated CGI versions make the toy story a fairly lively one.

SMALL SOLDIERS is just weird and twisted enough to be worth a matinee. It's also a poorly-concealed version of the same action worship you find in a film like ARMAGEDDON, though it's almost better when the worship is thoroughly unironic. The token attempts at satire notwithstanding, SMALL SOLDIERS plays most like a juiced-up feature-length commercial for _real_ Commando Elite action figures, available now at a store near you.

         On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 soldiers' stories:  6.

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