# Beach, The (2000)

### reviewed by
Frankie Paiva

    The Beach

    rated R
    119 minutes
    20th Century Fox
    starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tilda Swinton, Virginie Ledoyen, Guillaume Canet,
    and Robert Carlyle
    written by John Hodge
    from the novel by Alex Garland
    directed by Danny Boyle

    A Review by Frankie Paiva

Leo has been in the spotlight for too long since the release of Titanic on December 17, 1997. While he was enjoying his fame, the spotlight must have gotten brighter and blinded him in the eyes and brain making him take bad career choices. His first post-Titanic role was in 1998 with the Woody Allen dud Celebrity where he played (what else?) a selfish movie star. He doesn't do much better here. In interviews DiCaprio says he's interested in expanding his horizons and getting the more intriguing and challenging roles. He's done a fine job, too bad he couldn't pull if off. At all.

Richard (Leo! himself) is an American traveling in Thailand and wants to be anything but a tourist. Seeing as there's no use in staying at a fancy hotel, he rents a room in the back of a souvenir shop that features some of the slums of the city. Daffy (Carlyle in a very small role) is a crazed drunk who tells Richard about a mystical island with the perfect beach through the vent in the top of his room. The next morning he finds Daffy who has slit his wrists, blood is spurted all over his guest room, but there is a black map tacked onto his door. So Richard invites a French couple who he heard having sex the previous evening to come to the island with him for an adventure.

After a long swim, and some careful navigation through a field, they find a tropical paradise. Everyone that lives there is scantily clad, they all have perfect bodies, and they smoke weed all day. Soon Leo begins a love affair (or in this movie's idea of love, a sex affair) with Francoise (Ledoyen), the female of the French couple that have split up. But everyone knows that there can't be a movie where no trouble lies in paradise. There is one rule for living on the island, since fields of growing drugs sit on the other half of the land mass, the farmers there demand that no new people come to live there, so that the secret doesn't get out. You can never, ever, ever tell anyone about this place. Before Richard left for the beach, he copied the map Daffy gave him and gave it to two junkies at his hotel, and when he goes back to the city he meets them again, and finds out they plan to for a visit. Big mistake.

There are several implausibilites that are in this film. The first has to be that all members of the island, whether it be the evil Thai druglords or Francoise, all speak perfect English. Another problem deals with a shark attack when someone was swimming near the beach, and don't even get me started on the Leo 64 video game sequence. The movie is filled with countless amounts of uneeded material and dialog. Only about half of the film's two hour running time has anything to do with how the film ends, and it's message to the youth of America (it's obvious audience). This makes it a bore to sit through, specifically when Leo decends into some type of madness in the second half. Oh, and did I mention, everyone there has enough clothes to last them their entire stay.

Even movies with a bad plot and redundant scenes can sometimes be saved by great acting. There's none of that to be found here though. Richard changes moods too quickly, one time he's brooding about his life and is depressed, the next he's a pathological liar who is trying to save himself from danger. Besides, we don't see Leo do much except for that squint he always uses. The chemistry between him and Ledoyen is nowhere to be found and the two aren't very interesting as people, or as lovers, for us to care much about them. In fact, almost all of the characters are surprisingly dull and the adapted script by John Hodge doesn't let them reach the potential that they could have been. The only marginally good performance comes from Robert Carlyle who makes us sort of like the creepy Daffy, while still being on our edge. But never mind him, he's only on screen for five minutes, this is Leo's picture. The ending is also happens to be remarkably snooze worthy and is an uninventive way to end the film. The only good thing this movie does, is to encourage hardcore Leo fans to see it again and again. Leo is shirtless for almost the entire duration of the picture, and it's a great treat, but not if you're a guy like me. The soundtrack is also kind of cool, but I'd hate to give the movie more credit than it deserves. Leo, you're a good actor, next time, if you're still around, please be in a good movie, and keep your shirt on too.

    D+

    Frankie Paiva
    SwpStke@aol.com
    http://pictureshow.8m.com

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