# End of Days (1999)

### reviewed by
Donlee Brussel

    End of Days (1999)

    Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak,
    Rod Steiger, Miriam Margolyes
    Director: Peter Hyams
    Screenplay: Andrew W. Marlowe
    123 Minutes
    Rated R

    Review by Donlee Brussel

There are a lot of devil worshippers in New York. These Satan servants are everywhere; I'm talking about the psychiatrists, cops, nurses and hobos. They're all here to revere Gabriel Byrne in a role Al Pacino was born to play. Welcome to Schwarzenegger's long anticipated return to celluloid, "End of Days." It's also Arnold's first foray into "drama" as he plays a suicidal alcoholic bodyguard who's here to save us all from the devil himself.

In a nutshell, End of Days' plot is simply this: Satan needs to find the girl he marked as his mate twenty years ago and impregnate her with the Anti-Christ between 11:00 PM and 12:00 AM, Eastern Standard Time on December 31, 1999 to initiate the "End of Days." Only Jericho Cane (Ah- nuld) can save the world from Lucifer and his flammable urine. How will he kill Mephistopheles when he has only ten seconds to nail Robin Tunney? Only if you're willing to part with your hard-earned cash will you find out and I seriously recommend that you don't.

Now some of you may be asking yourselves, "What the hell is Gabriel doing back in another pisspoor religious movie?" You'd think after Stigmata he'd learn to pick better scripts. Byrne just doesn't have the intensity to pull this role off. Pacino had it and used it well in the guilty pleasure "The Devil's Advocate." Playing a heavy like the Prince of Darkness ain't easy, so why didn't casting director Jackie Burch put as much time into "End of Days" as he did "Lost & Found," "I Still Know..." and "Judge Dredd?"

Every action film these days requires a sidekick, so why should a cliché-layered film like this be any different? They have Kevin Pollack spewing cheesy one-liners from the "Die Hard" trilogy's cutting room floor, and according to the audience I was with, they're hilarious. I mean come on, lines like those are golden! In the stark reality of the world Gabriel Byrne and Kevin Pollack haven't done anything respectable besides "The Usual Suspects." That is the only one good film they starred in, everything on their resumes preceding and following it are comatose.

It's important to mention Arnold Schwarzenegger's big performance. Let me tell you, this guy never has been able to act, he's not acting in "End of Days" and I truly doubt he'll ever have any talent in acting. Maybe, it's in the accent, you know, Arnold's voice just doesn't seem capable of tugging at my emotions. He just doesn't have the skill to do anything properly in a dramatic fashion. All he can do is look the role, but looking it just isn't enough nowadays. There's a scene in the film where Schwarzenegger's getting his ass whooped by Miriam Margolyes in an inconceivably hilarious approach that makes me question whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger is getting a little weak around the edges or he just thinks getting a beatdown from a 58 year old is hilarious.

And of course, let's not forget Peter Hyams, the "acclaimed" director of "Timecop," "Sudden Death" and "The Relic" doing a pretty sloppy job of helming this film. If I were the exec at Universal, I would've really pushed Sam Raimi to direct this. In a year of groundbreaking special effects fests like "Star Wars" and "The Matrix, "Days" looks incredibly lame. Those looking to see another Jar Jar Binks or "bullet time" will be disappointed. The $100 million budget used here was spent on the same old fireballs and explosions we've seen several times before, directed by a hack with no sense of style or artistic ability.

"End of Days" is nothing but another scab on everyone involved's already wounded careers.

    - © 1999 by Donlee Brussel

    Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
    Before you buy.

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