# Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

### reviewed by
Jon Popick

PLANET SICK-BOY: http://www.sick-boy.com

In the style of Christopher Guest's fantastic Waiting for Guffman, Drop Dead Gorgeous is a mockumentary about the Sarah Rose Cosmetics American Teen Princess beauty pageant trials in Mount Rose, Minnesota. Mount Rose is the home of the oldest living Lutheran, or so the sign states as you enter the burg. But the mayor explains, through a veil of obscenities, that the elderly coot actually kicked the bucket several years earlier, and those damn Lutherans just won't take the sign down.

Only in Mount Rose will you come upon a church that uses grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ. Only in Mount Rose will you hear phrases like `beautiful as a whore's ass' and `Jesus Christ on a cross.' Only in Mount Rose will you encounter the reigning Teen Princess residing in `the bone garden' – the anorexia/bulimia wing of the local hospital. Only in Mount Rose will you discover that the favorite for this year's crown is the great white (trash) hope Amber Atkins (Kirsten Dunst, Dick), who practices her tap dancing while applying the makeup and styling the hair of the deceased at the local mortuary. Only in Mount Rose will you find Amber's chief competition in Becky Leeman (Denise Richards, Wild Things), a murderously beautiful vixen from the good side of the tracks, who will stop at nothing to become the President of the Lutheran Sisterhood Gun Club, not to mention winning the pageant.

In short, the film project is any aspiring documentary filmmaker's dream, and, more importantly, doesn't involve chasing urban legends around the woods of Burkittsville, Maryland.

In Amber's corner are her alcoholic mother Annette (Ellen Barkin, The Fan) and Loretta (Allison Janney, 10 Things I Hate About You), her mom's slutty best friend. Early in the film, Annette is nearly killed when their trailer suspiciously explodes and is left, tragically, with a beer can seared to her right hand.

Meanwhile, Becky's camp includes pageant coordinator and emcee Gladys Leeman (Kirstie Alley, For Richer or Poorer), who not only happens to be Becky's mom, but is also a former pageant winner from several years (and several pounds) past. Becky's pop Lester (Sam McMurray, The Mod Squad) owns a local furniture store and, luckily, can afford to keep Becky and Gladys in the lifestyle to which they are accustomed.

Among the three pageant judges are John Dough (Matt Malloy, In the Company of Men), a pharmacist who seems a little too eager to rate the blossoming young women, and Harold Vilmes (Michael McShane from the British version of Whose Line is it Anyway?), who runs the local hardware store with his retarded brother and constant shadow Hank (William Sasso).

The other pageant contestants are representatives of just about every clique that I can remember from high school – the artsy actress who wears black, the lesbian sports freak and the cheerleading sperm receptacle, among others. Each is equally hysterical, but can't quite hold a candle to Lisa Swenson (Brittany Murphy, Clueless and the voice of LuAnn on King of the Hill) who gives yet another scene-stealing performance. Also of note is Gladys' pageant crony Iris Clark (Mindy Sterling, Austin Powers).

Originally titled Dairy Queens, Gorgeous was directed by Michael Patrick Jann from the under-viewed but consistently entertaining sketch comedy show called The State, which ran on MTV several years ago. The caustic, crisp script was written by Lona Williams, a producer from The Drew Carey Show, and the film's music is from Devo alum Mark Mothersbaugh. Viewers may not know that films with a PG-13 rating are only allowed to use the dreaded `F' word once, and the filmmakers save it up for a whopper of a line at the end of the picture. (1:37 - PG-13 for irreverent and crude humor, sex-related material and language)

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