# Breakfast of Champions (1999)

### reviewed by
Berge Garabedian

    BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
    RATING#1: 7/10 --> Good movie
    RATING#2: 5/10 --> Not a good movie
    (Read entire review to determine your own rating)

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For your own protection, keep your arms and legs inside this movie review at all times. No smoking will be allowed, although you really shouldn't enter the premises without the proper mind-sponging substance floating through your great white yonder, and prepare to meet the man some refer to as Dwayne Hoover, or his master of creation, Kilgore Trout. This is the story about a man and his dog. Well...actually...it isn't!

PLOT: Used car salesman extraordinaire Dwayne Hoover loses his identity in the midst of a massive mid-life crisis which leads him to cheat on his wife, whose hooked on pills, attempt to kill himself every other day, and seek out the answer to the questions in his mind. Very few answers follow.

CRITIQUE: Bubble, pill, bubble, pill, bubble. Exit 11, take a left please. This film is based on the apparent "unfilmable" novel written by one Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Much like last year's unfilmable film FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS (7/10), it offers much style and esoteric gobbledygook in a narrative which cannot be described as anything more (or less) than incomprehensible. The ladieswear department is down by the last aisle, sir. I personally enjoyed the film on the level in which it was obviously meant to be taken...a spiritually enlightening chemically-induced psychedelic soul searching vehicle, in which many people seem to float through the floors, see images of paradise reflecting from the mirrors, death looming, and bubble with overly fake enthusiasm/depression. You can call me Bunny, dad. Strobe, strobe. Don't call me Dwayne, it's Wayne, Wayne Hoobler...like Dwayne Hoover, you know! Crying won't help, but an apparent big dick and sex with the secretary f**k machine will? Good soundtrack. The answer for Hoover obviously lies within life itself. Spiraling lights and a nice, olived marti ni. Take two!

The actors were all very good in this film, with Bruce Willis standing out in another very different role for him. He plays this cartoon character very well and never draws his colors outside of the idiosyncratic line born to be this person. Dwayne Hoover~?! Is that you~?!! Why don't you just come out and say it, "I wear women's clothing and I like it!". Nick Nolte is awesome! His role in this film rivals any in his career! Expect Mr. Nolte to walk away with many more high award recognitions this year. Best worst part. And no more goodbye to Blue Mondays after this movie, that's for sure. Hardy-har-har, Mr. Trout! If that's your "real name" . I also enjoyed the style of the film which was basically its only actual film component, seeing that the substance was only to be discovered through two highly enriched characters named Mary Jane and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Thirty-six bucks for a car?! You got it!

I personally will be adding this film to my collection of "high" level quality productions which one could only truly appreciate when-is that BIRDSH*T on my car?!! All in all, I would say that I had quite a few laughs, no serious moments whatsoever, passed the two hour runtime like it was a five-minute trip through the dentist's waiting room (Top floor, of course), and appreciated the cooky-wooky soundtrack. Last stop in Brownsville. I love you and life should be lived while attending life! Please remove your seatbelts on your way out and make sure to move your hands away from the aisles. This review has now ended. Thank you for flying in our friendly high skies. Please check the rating on your way out.

(7/10) --> If you actually understood and appreciated aspects of this review and enjoy puzzles. (5/10) --> If you didn't understand and DO NOT WANT TO understand any aspect of this review, and do not like puzzles.

Little Known Facts about this film and its stars: This might explain a few things about this movie: Novelist Kurt Vonnegut Jr. once attended College with fellow author Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel). Think about it? Remember all that Who-hash from THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS? Vonnegut Jr., on whose novel this film is based, also makes an appearance in this movie as the "TV commercial director". He was born in 1922. This is Nick Nolte's second time in a film based on a Vonnegut Jr. novel. His first was 1996's MOTHER NIGHT. Director Alan Rudolph and Bruce Willis had previously worked together in the 1991 film MORTAL THOUGHTS co-starring Bruce's then-wife Demi Moore. Co-producer David Willis is, you guessed it, Bruce Willis' real-life brother. He has been involved as a producer on 9 movies since 1990, 7 of which starred his big-shot brother in one way or another. You go, girl! This film was nominated for a Golden Berlin Bear award at the 1999 Berlin International Film Festival.

    Review Date: October 13, 1999
    Director: Alan Rudolph
    Writer: Alan Rudolph
    Producers: David Blocker and David Willis
    Actors: Bruce Willis as Dwayne Hoover
    Nick Nolte as Harry Le Sabre
    Albert Finney as Kilgore Trout
    Genre: Head-trip
    Year of Release: 1999
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    (c) 1999 Berge Garabedian

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