# Burglar (1987)

### reviewed by
Jeff Meyer

                                    BURGLAR
                            Film review by Jeff Meyer
                            Copyright 1987 Jeff Meyer

I hate having to echo Siskel & Ebert, but something *has* to be done about getting Whoopi Goldberg some decent scripts. Her latest film, BURGLAR, once again tantalizes us with brief glimpses of potential, but smothers it under ridiculous plotting and inadequate backup from supporting characters. The fact that I left the movie liking Goldberg's character, DESPITE some of the lines/situations that had been fed to her, says what kind of actress she is; she has a lot of charisma. A cinematic natural resource, if you please. But she keeps getting into these half-baked projects (like this and JUMPIN' JACK FLASH) which end up making me distraught because, while giving some degree of satisfaction, they consistently reminded me how good they COULD HAVE BEEN with a little work in the script department.

BURGLAR is an adaptation of Lawrence Block's "Burglar" books, specifically "The Burglar in the Closet." I've read most of these books (I'd give them a C average), so I my be more sensitive to anomalies in the script that those who have not read these books. In some bizarre twist, the sex of the majority of the characters in the book has been changed: Bernie Rhodenbarr (sp?), the burglar, has gone from a he to a she (Whoopi Goldberg); his lesbian friend and neighbor has become a male heterosexual flake (Bob Goldwaith), the dentist who has hired Bernie to ransack his wife's apartment has become Leslie Ann Warren, and the wife has become a husband. Actually, it works pretty well, especially Goldberg, with the exception being Goldwaith, whose character has to be one of the most annoying to appear on the screen in years. If you disliked the old Saturday Night Live characters "The Whiners," you're going to HATE Goldwaith in this film. How did Goldwaith get here? Personal friend of the producers? Of Goldberg's? Did she marry him? (I understand she recently got married). You keep wondering why someone as together as Goldberg's Rhodenbarr is hanging out with this nebbish. Other characters who don't work very well are G.W. Bailey's crooked cop, who was generally fairly friendly in the book, but here often acts like a savage. Warren overacts, which is her standard modus operandi these days, as far as I can tell. The rest of the cast is forgetable.

I really wish I knew what the scriptwriters were trying to do--the plot of this movie is absolutely schizoid. On one hand, it seems to be trying to do a fairly accurate adaptation of the film (despite the sex changes et al); and then suddenly it goes for a car chase or some action sequences which really don't work with the rest of the movie. It's not a terrible script, but it is blazingly awkward, consistently stumbling when you were just getting interested in what's going on.

Throughout it, Whoopi Goldberg plays Bernie Rhodenbarr into an interesting, level-headed character; actually more appealing than the burglar in the books, in my mind. There are points where even she can't overcome the script--her having to consistently rattle off the spiel about how she only robs people who "deserve it"; you expect her to jump up on a rock and give an Errol Flynn speech about robbing from the rich to give to the poor. And she does go into Whoopi Goldberg schticks on occasion--but many of them fit into the character of the burglar, so it works (I especially liked the Italian game show host, as she examines the dentist's husband's closet). But over-all, she plays a self-assured, in-charge character you really get to like by the end of the film. She also is the only heroine since Sigourney Weaver in ALIENS that I can remember who saves the day and brings in the criminal herself, without any help from a man. Wish we'd see more of that...

End result: A film that is marginally watchable, and constantly shows potential that it never lives up to. Dammit, Whoopi, get a new agent!

                                            Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
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