# Goodbye Lover (1999)

### reviewed by
David N. Butterworth

    GOODBYE, LOVER
    A film review by David N. Butterworth
    Copyright 1999 David N. Butterworth

    *1/2 (out of ****)

"Goodbye, Lover" sat on the shelf for almost a year since its lukewarm reception at the Cannes Film Festival last May, and one look will tell you why. It's a mess. And that's *way* before Ellen DeGeneres shows up.

The film is one of those torrid double-indemnity crime stories that, in this case, required the services of three screenwriters. I suspect that one wrote a sexy thriller, one wrote a murder mystery, and one wrote a comedy, then director Roland Joffé tried to piece it all together in the editing room while scratching his head in bewilderment.

I didn't laugh at Ellen DeGeneres much (I think I was supposed to). DeGeneres is horrible and her character is even worse, a tough-talking vulgar cop with a bad wardrobe and bad hair. Either DeGeneres is wearing a wig--as most of the actors appear to be--or she doesn't yet have enough clout to secure a hairstylist. Every single word out of her mouth is supposed to be racy and hip, but her incessant wisecracking is poorly-written and merely stupid. Her reaction to the brutal killing of a jogger is "at least she died healthy." And that's one of her wittier asides.

DeGeneres' Sgt. Rita Pompano is called in to investigate the allegedly accidental death of...wait. To give away too much of the plot would all but ruin a film that has very little going for it outside of its numbing plot twists and multiple triple-crosses. It's best described this way:

Sultry sexpot/real estate agent Sandra Dunmore (Patricia Arquette) is married to Jake, a "creative yet unfocused" (and alcoholic) advertising rep, played by Dermot Mulroney. Sandra likes to act out her deep-seated sexual fantasies and Jake's brother Ben (the suave-as-ever Don Johnson) likes to help. Ben is also coming on to his petite, mousy co-worker Peggy Blaine (Mary-Louise Parker) and someone, somewhere, is planning to cash in on that huge life insurance policy of his.

The film is ripe with cheating lovers cheating on each other and back again. Although there are some genuine surprises, the plot twists get too contrived too quickly. Probably around the time DeGeneres' gumcracking gumshoe appears.

At least the former "Ellen" star is going for something a little different. Arquette turns in Yet Another of her stiletto-heeled, platinum blonde bombshell roles (see: "Lost Highway," "True Romance") while quoting embarrassing lines like "I'm not wearing any underwear." I hope she got paid a lot of money to do this.

Here's an example of some of the film's flat-out stupidity. Sandra purchases a used car and disguises herself in a red wig prior to stalking two of the film's duplicitous lovers. She drives the motorbiking couple off a cliff while blaring her favorite "The Sound of Music" on her car stereo, intent on identifying herself to her hapless victims. So what was the point of the wig and the car?

"The Sound of Music" stuff might be a reference to "The Wizard of Oz" allusions in David Lynch's "Wild at Heart," but if so Joffé must have forgotten that "Wild at Heart" was a despicable movie. It's hard to believe that "Goodbye, Lover" was directed by the same person who made "The Killing Fields" and "The Mission." It's not, however, hard to see why it sat on the shelf for so long. It should have stayed there.

    --
    David N. Butterworth
    dnb@dca.net

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