# Road to El Dorado, The (2000)

### reviewed by
John Beachem

    THE ROAD TO EL DORADO

    Review by John Beachem

    * * 1/2

Directed by: Bibo Bergeron, Will Finn Written by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

As I walked out of "The Road to El Dorado", something was nagging at me, and it took me awhile to determine what that was. The movie starts off by being cute, with all the requisite cutesy little characters present that the kids should ooh and ahh over; and throughout the middle of the movie it remains cute, tacking on yet more adorable little characters. Finally, after sitting through an hour and a half of this, it ends in a very predictable (and cute, of course) way. In fact, that's all this movie ever was. It was never interesting, exciting, or awe inspiring in the slightest. This was just one of those mindless pieces of fluff that studios throw out for the kidlets every year. I know I should go easy on "The Road to El Dorado" simply because it's a film aimed at kids, but all the little kids in the theater looked bored out of their minds as well.

Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh) are two con artists on the run from the authorities and a mob of angry people in Spain. In their haste to escape, the two find themselves on board Cortes's ship as he heads for the new world. Cortes discovers them, and he sends them off in a long boat with only a horse and a map for company. After washing up on the shore of South America, they find their way to the golden city of El Dorodo. The friendly residents, led by their jovial (though nameless) chief (Edward James Olmos) and an evil priest named Tzekel-Kan (Armand Assante), assume that the visitors are gods and treat them as such. Only a young thief, named Chel (Rosie Perez), sees through their con and wants in on the action. The problem is, Cortes is hot on their heels, Tzekel-Kan wants to commit human sacrifice in their names, and they have to keep up the charade for three whole days.

Does that plot sound a little tired and recycled? It certainly felt that way as I sat, bored out of my mind, waiting for this unbearably cutesy movie to end. I honestly believe that it was possible to predict what each character was going to say, long before they said it. I was rather amused by the fact that this dull movie is so frantically paced. It's as though Bergeron and Finn knew how boring their material was, and so they tried to bring the experience to an end as soon as possible. In order to break up the trite and dull sequences throughout this movie, we are occasionally granted musical numbers, which seem to go on forever and ever, but do not contribute to the story in any way. They are also shot in a bizarre, psychedelic manner, making them appear to be straight out of something from the '60s.

I believe the two primary reasons people are going to see this movie is for the animation and for Kenneth Branagh and Kevin Kline. I will say that the animation used in "The Road to El Dorado" is quite nice, but it's certainly nothing spectacular. I'd put the animation a notch or two below 1998's "The Prince of Egypt". The fact that I had just seen a preview for the upcoming and fantastic looking "Titan A.E." before hand, probably didn't help matters. As for the star duo involved, I'm sorry to say that they aren't given much to do in this movie. Anyone could have performed these exact same roles, and no one would have known the difference. Part of the problem is that the two sound utterly joyless in their roles, and who can blame them? Their jokes are few and far between, and the majority of them fall flat.

"The Road to El Dorado" isn't without its high points. The animation is quite lovely, and there are several truly hilarious scenes. One of the supporting characters, a little armadillo which follows the heroes by rolling around and squeaking seemed to delight the kids in the audience, and even I found him rather amusing. Like I said, this is a clean, wholesome, safe movie, which I might have expected a bit too much from. It runs only 82 minutes, but it feels much longer. I would recommend it to animation fans since it is so nice looking, but not really to anyone else. I would especially warn off history buffs, since the film takes more than a few liberties with the realities of Cortes's conquests. I give it two and a half out of five stars.

Comments? Feel free to e-mail them to: johnbeachem@dependentfilms.net For past reviews, movie news, and other fun stuff, visit: http://www.dependentfilms.net

* * * * * - One of the greatest movies ever made, see it now. * * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one. * * * - Okay movie, hits and misses. * * - Pretty bad, see it only if you have nothing better to do. * - One of the worst movies ever made. See it only if you enjoy pain.

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