# Dogma (1999)

### reviewed by
Rose 'Bams' Cooper

    '3 Black Chicks Review...'

"Dogma" (1999) Rated R; running time 128 minutes Genre: Comedy IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120655 Official site: http://www.dogma-movie.com/ Written by: Kevin Smith Directed by: Kevin Smith Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Jason Lee, George Carlin, Barret Hackney, Jared Pfennigwerth, Kitao Sakurai [Note: though it's likely Old News by now, to minimize on a potential "spoiler", I've intentionally left out the credit for "God". o, the irony...]

Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 1999 Review URL: http://www.3blackchicks.com/bamsdogma.html

This one was a tuffy; I've stewed over it for a couple of days, trying to keep the Objective Reviewer side of me separate from my unsure-how-it-all-works Spiritual side, in order to rate this flick solely on its merits on celluloid [knowing what I knew about this flick beforehand, I made sure the non-objective side of me was anesthetized before I entered the theater. She's still asleep...shhh...] For the most part, I've succeeded--that actually wasn't the hard part--but it occurs to me that in excising my (lack of?) faith from the picture, I may have played right into writer/director Kevin Smith's dastardly plans.

    Oy. I'm getting a headache...

The Story (WARNING: EXTENSIVE spoilers contained below): In this mostly-unfunny comedy, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck (respectively) play Loki and Bartleby, AWA (Angels With Attitudes). They have Issues with the Big G because, as Old Testament angels, they were cast out of heaven for going against God's will (Loki was the Angel Of Death, and Bartleby tried to get him to chill one day. Big no-no, it seems; the Old Testament God wasn't havin' it). Banished to Wisconsin until the end of the world, they hear about a loophole: in an effort to get parishoners back in church, Cardinal Glick (George Carlin) invokes a dogmatic rule that would wipe the slate clean for any and all sinners who pass through the arch of his New Jersey church--and because the dogma of The Church is considered canon, Loki and Bartleby reason that what's good for mortals is good for angels, too.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town...Metatron, the embodiment of the Voice Of God (Alan Rickman) contacts Bethany (Linda Fiorentino), an abortion clinic worker with religious Issues of her own, and enlists her to stop the angels from going through the arch. In classic Road Movie form, she meets a series of folks on the way: Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), who she sees as the Prophets Metatron predicted, but who see her as an potentially great lay; Rufus (Chris Rock), the 13th Disciple who insists that he was left out of the bible because he was the only Black Disciple; Serendipity (Salma Hayek), a Muse who somehow ended up in a strip club; and on the side of Evil, Azrael and the Stygian Triplets (Jason Lee; Barret Hackney, Jared Pfennigwerth and Kitao Sakurai), Lucifer's henchmen and do-ers of bad deeds, such as beating Bud Cort's character, old man John Doe Jersey [ooh, such a clever name] into a coma.

    Wackiness Ensues.

The Upshot: Ok, let's get this out of the way now: "Dogma", to my understanding of the meaning of the word, is blasphemous. Anyone who's seen the movie (and that's an important qualifier, folks) and came away with a different conclusion, is either in straight-up denial, is an atheist, or simply has a different dictionary than me. With scenes like the one where an angel swears profusively at a nun, it won't ever be seen the Pax Network, that's for sure. I say again: "Dogma", to my understanding of the meaning of the word, is blasphemous. But here's the kicker: the blasphemy is directed not at religion (that is, the faith of the believer) but at Religion (that is, The Organization Known As "The Church"). Specifically, Religion in the form of the Catholic Church (which, in my youth, I called "stand-up-sit-down-stand-up-kneel"). And as someone who's had Issues with The Church (specifically, The Baptist Church, aka "The Fashion Show". But that's another rant for another time.), I Feel him. For now, I'll leave it at this: my lasting impression of the film is that Smith, as expressed through Affleck's Bartleby, is indeed a religious man (or at least, like some of us, has spiritual leanings that aren't quite fully realized), and that his anger at The Church would be dissipated if The Church's rules would have less impact than The Golden Rule. And again, I most def Feel that.

That aside, my feelings about the movie as a movie (versus the movie as a Statement) are a lot less forgiving. I was irritated at "Dogma" far too often to recommend it unconditionally (case in point: you'd have to totally drop your suspension of disbelief that God wouldn't be hip to what Loki and Bartleby were up to; and worse was the "explanation" of why that was, which, like a greek tragedy's Deus Ex Machina, magically made itself known at the end of the flick); and worse were some of the characterizations by actors who seem to have called in their parts. Amongst the sinners are Carlin's Cardinal (which, given his recent HBO special where he totally thrashes The Church, makes his particular sin unforgivable), Rickman (the actor must've imbibed the tequila that his Metatron character kept spitting out; certainly, his Bad Guy in "Die Hard" was much more convincing), Lee (a hammy devilette with horns...gimme a break. What, they couldn't get Jim Carrey?) and especially Fiorentino, totally unbelievable in what should've been a key role; she damn near put me to sleep with her bored-stiff acting. And let's not forget the (Smith's words, not mine, folks) "Shit Demon". Actually, let's.

But by far, the brunt of the blame goes to Damon and Affleck (and, of course, Smith's pen). Damon's Loki was just way too out-there, cussin' for cussin's sake [and you'll remember, dear reader, that I had the same Issue with Cuba Gooding Jr. in the crime-against-humanity, "Chill Factor".] Unique unto himself--and rather scary--at first, I had to remind myself that Loki was after all, the Angel Of Death. And Damon played that to a T, initially; the Mooby scene was a little over-the-top, but I daresay the folks at Disney probably turned a whiter shade of pale after seeing it. Affleck, too, played Bartleby rather nicely to begin with; his Good Cop to Loki's Bad Cop, worked for awhile. But then, it all came tumbling down after the train scene; suddenly, they both got an epiphany, and inexplicably (especially as far as Loki is concerned) switched characterizations--and ruined any chances of redeeming the movie from there forward. And to top it off, the closing scene was corny and hokey, as if Smith ran out of shock-value stuff to toss at the viewer, yielding to conventionality at the end.

There were, however, bright spots in the most unexpected of places. Chris Rock, as usual, was the funniest thing in the movie (though I had a Chris Issue which I'll get to later); Salma Hayek, after her "Wild Wild West" fiasco, totally surprised me by being pretty durn good here, certainly measurably better than Fiorentino; Kevin Smith (yes, *that* Kevin Smith), for being Silent as Bob, was amusingly expressive; and Jason Mewes...man. His wacked-out Jay was simply a trip. Once I got over the shock of his behavior, I kinda dug him.

In the end, I had a love/hate relationship with "Dogma"; I was mad at it for not being what it could've been, but appreciated it for what it was. Even if I didn't always agree with it.

The "Black Factor" [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith] Chris Rock is, some might say, the reigning king of topical Black comedy. I don't know from all that, but of all the young Black turk comics on the scene, he most def made a good choice as Rufus, the forgotten Disciple. At turns funny and thoughtful, I was With his character all the way up to one point: the point when he called Jesus "that nigga". Religious issues aside, those words coming out of the same mouth that, in his HBO comedy special "Bigger and Blacker", said "I love Black Folks...but I hate 'niggas'", was just too incongruous to me. Yes, I know that those words actually started from the writer's hands and not from Chris' lips, but still.

Bammer's Bottom Line: I'm still somewhat at odds with myself over how I feel "Dogma", at least from the standpoint of a mostly-objective movie viewer. I know full well what the folks involved in it were trying to do, but in all their eagerness to be Bold! And! Controversial!--while at the same time stay user-friendly (read: not alienating the target box-office demographic) by going for the funny bone (and missing), they left something to be desired in the execution. Still, you gotta give Smith & Crew an attaboy for having the nads to at least give it ye olde college try.

The bottom Bottom Line? "Dogma" gets my greenlight rating if only because I feel compelled to see it again, flaws n' all.

"Dogma" (rating: greenlight) The Spirit was willing, but the Flesh was weak, yes; but it had Teeth, which is more than most mainstream flicks have going for them.

    3 Black Chicks...Movie Reviews With Flava!            /~\
    Rose "Bams" Cooper                                   /','\
    3BlackChicks Enterprises                            /','`'\
    Copyright Rose Cooper, 1999                        /',',','/`,
    EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com   ICQ: 7760005        `~-._'c    /
    http://www.3blackchicks.com/                            `\   (
    http://manetheren.cl.msu.edu/~bambam/                    /====\

The review above was posted to the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup (de.rec.film.kritiken for German reviews).
The Internet Movie Database accepts no responsibility for the contents of the review and has no editorial control. Unless stated otherwise, the copyright belongs to the author.
Please direct comments/criticisms of the review to relevant newsgroups.
Broken URLs inthe reviews are the responsibility of the author.
The formatting of the review is likely to differ from the original due to ASCII to HTML conversion.

Related links: index of all rec.arts.movies.reviews reviews