# Virus (1999)

### reviewed by
James Brundage

    Virus

    As Reviewed by James Brundage

From the producer of Terminator 2 comes... (*gasp*) an expanded version of the first five minutes of Terminator 2. You all know the five minutes: the time where the robots are killing every human being in sight. Well, that's basically the entire movie of Virus.

In Virus, a super-intelligent electronic life form has inhabited first the space station Mir and then a Russian science ship. Everybody except for one person on the science ship goes kaput. A tug populated by scavenging psychos happens upon the ship and decides to salvage it, so they reactivate the power and, in doing so, the psychotic robots. In the immortal words of "Seinfeld", yada, yada, yada.

The yada, yada, yada? The robots try to kill them for the next two hours while I try to stay awake for the remainder of this boring horror flick.

In the 80s, the golden age of slasher films, and in the 50s, the golden age of B-movies, you could watch a horror film and laugh. I did not laugh once during this foray into the stupid and unoriginal. The film is as patched together as the robots it features: It steals from Relic, Terminator, Terminator 2, Every Star Trek episode featuring the Borg, etc, etc, etc.

I'm only glad I'm going to see The Thin Red Line tomorrow. After this and Varsity Blues, I'm ready to take a flame-thrower to Hollywood.

If you haven't seen it, don't. For those of you who've already made the mistake that cost them two hours: Who's With Me?!

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