# Screwed (2000)

### reviewed by
John Baechem

    SCREWED

    Review by John Beachem

    * * 1/2

Directed by: Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski Written by: Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski

Willard Fillmore (Norm Macdonald) is chauffeur to an evil old hag, Virginia Crock (Elaine Stritch). Actually, his job title may be chauffeur, but his actual duties consist of doing just about everything from scrubbing Crock's dentures to feeding her dog, Muffin. After Crock gives him a pie for Christmas, rather than the new suit he so desperately needs, Willard hatches a plan with his friend, Rusty (Dave Chappelle), to kidnap Muffin and ransom him back to Miss Crock. The plan, of course, backfires and a new plan must be hatched. This one consists of Willard himself being ransomed. Rusty and Willard decide to fake Willard's death by having a mortician, Grover Cleaver (Danny DeVito), fix up a corpse to look like him. Everything manages to go wrong with every plan the trio think up, and the situation grows worse and worse.

Danny DeVito seems to be developing an interesting and slightly worrisome habit with his script choices. His last two pictures have had three things in common. Both involved evil, universally hated old women; some sort of cheesy, tacked on mystery; and a horrible, poorly written script. This is a shame considering what a talented actor DeVito is. "Screwed" is a weak, often painfully forced and unfunny film which will most likely vanish from theaters in a month. The movie starts off with no humor except Macdonald ("Dirty Work") doing a somewhat amusing impersonation of Bruce Campbell's Ash from "Evil Dead II". This lack of humor lasts for about 45 minutes, and the movie then begins to show some signs of life, with one or two truly funny scenes. Unfortunately, this doesn't last, and the film ends horribly.

Let's get one thing straight everyone. Norm Macdonald cannot act in any way. The man stumbles through his lines with the same poker face and dreary, boring voice throughout all his films. His lack of emotion can be somewhat amusing in stand up comic sketches on Saturday Night Live, but it doesn't translate well into movies. Dave Chappelle can be one of two things in his movies: irritating or very irritating. In Martin Lawrence's "Blue Streak" he was irritating. In "Screwed" he is very irritating. The man has the most annoying, whiny tone of voice you're likely to hear. DeVito does what he can with his miserable role, but you can't pull something out of nothing. I think the character of Grover Cleaver was supposed to be some sort of mad scientist who was funny because of all the disgusting things he did - like play harmonicas pulled out of dead people. However, Cleaver is disgusting in a very unfunny way.

There are few things worse than a movie which tries far too hard to be funny. Comic films are at their best when they aren't trying as hard as possible to be humorous. On the rare occasions that "Screwed" manages to pull a chuckle out of its audience, it drags the scene on well past the point where it is welcome. For example, when Muffin jumps out the back of Rusty's van while he and Willard are driving (that's funny, right?), the camera stays focused for several minutes on the two in the front seat, joking about taking the dog. "Screwed" only runs 90 minutes, but it's a long hour and a half. I'd recommend it to people who, for some reason, like Norm Macdonald movies, but to no one else. I'm giving the movie two and a half out of five stars out of respect for Danny DeVito, and because there are a few funny scenes at about the mid point that almost give the film some saving grace. Almost.

Any past movies you want me to review? Send to: johnbeachem@dependentfilms.net For past reviews, movie news, and other fun stuff, visit: http://www.dependentfilms.net

* * * * * - One of the best movies of the year. * * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one. * * * - Okay movie, hits and misses. * * - Pretty bad, see it at your own risk. * - See this one only if you enjoy pain.

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