# Small Time Crooks (2000)

### reviewed by
Lars Lindahl

Review by Lars Lindahl (larsattacks@mail.com)

"Small Time Crooks" (2000) **1/2 (out of four)

    Directed by Woody Allen
    Written by Woody Allen

Starring Woody Allen, Tony Darrow, Hugh Grant, George Grizzard, Jon Lovitz, Elaine May, Michael Rapaport, Elaine Stritch, and Tracey Ullman.

In Small Time Crooks, writer/director/star Woody Allen heavily depends on irony to provide big time laughs. In the beginning it works. A thief who hates the thought of owning too much money, a plan made by a couple to energize their relationship ends up seriously endangering it. It's original, unpredictable fun…at first. But after a while, Allen throws so many ironic situations into the simple plot, it inevitably becomes annoying and ultimately unfunny. What starts out as a pleasant light comedy complete with a rapid fire of fresh jokes and characters, ends in a dull, monotonous manner that must end immediately. The film just loses steam a third of the way through.

Don't miss the first ten minutes of Small Time Crooks or else you'll miss all of the excitement. Woody Allen plays Ray "The Brain," a dishwasher (with a sarcastic nickname) who used to be a thief before going to jail for two years. But imprisonment did not change Ray. He has his eyes on a bank and with the help of three neurotic friends, he plans on robbing it, splitting the money, then going to Florida. Renting out a store half a block away from the bank, Ray's master plan is to drill an underground passageway from the store to the vault. In order to make the situation not look suspicious, Ray begs his wife to act as a cover by selling cookies in the store as the guys drill downstairs. Ironically, the "cookie store" unexpectedly becomes a popular and lucrative shop - so popular that it makes them millionaires without having to rob anything. The trouble is Ray and his wife, now harshly thrown into the world of the high class, feel uncomfortably out of place. Small Time Crooks dies down just after the couple becomes rich. Except for a few scenes, it's not worth seeing.

Competing this weekend against a totally different kind of comedy, Road Trip, this one is more dialogue driven and should attract older viewers. It's simple and innocent storytelling (the movie is rated PG) is reminiscent of older films and you have to tip your hat to a writer who can make a movie funny without a semen joke. I just expected Small Time Crooks to be funnier, especially compared to the opening thirty minutes when something actually happens.

Two things almost saved this movie from eventual doom. First, the cast does a brilliant job. Woody Allen and Tracey Ullman are perfect for their roles; the chemistry they share is especially unique - whenever together they incessantly argue and deride but you can still sense that they love each other. And with their equally whiny and high-pitched voices ringing together in a chaotic form of harmony, it's obvious this is a match made in heaven. The supporting cast does a fantastic job of playing a slow-witted but amiable bunch. Michael Rapaport, Jon Lovitz, and Tony Darrow are very funny as Ray's "we-didn't go to high school" partners in crime. The only problem is that this trio is terribly underused; they completely disappear after the satisfying first act and we never hear from them again. Elaine May is a scene-stealer as Frenchy's cousin who according to Ray is as dumb as a cow or a dog. She delivers the most laughs with her inane comments and questions, and the dumbfounded look plastered on her face throughout is classic. The only complaint regarding the cast is Hugh Grant. Being one of the only other major characters in the final two-thirds of the movie, Grant faces the burden of having to fill the shoes of Ray's friends. He is neither funny nor emotional and, supposedly playing the bad guy, he isn't too convincing.

The second near-rescue effort from failure is small but crucial. Small Time Crooks has one of the few trailers in a long time not to give very much away from the movie's plot. Thanks to that, there was a bit of unpredictability that made watching a little more interesting. But not interesting enough to recommend.

    Grade: **1/2 (out of four)

    Lars Attacks!
    A teenager attacks past and present cinema
    http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/larsattacks

    larsattacks@mail.com
    (c) 2000 Lars Lindahl

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