# Small Time Crooks (2000)

### reviewed by
Shannon Patrick Sullivan

    SMALL TIME CROOKS (2000) / **

Directed by Woody Allen. Screenplay by Allen. Starring Allen, Tracey Ullman, Hugh Grant. Running time: 98 minutes. Rated PG for mild language by the MFCB. Reviewed on June 20th, 2000.

    By SHANNON PATRICK SULLIVAN

At his best, Woody Allen's movies are a vehicle not just for amusing social satire, but also for meaningful insight into our mundane lives. When he's on his game, even the most seemingly inconsequential scenes carry a weight and purpose of unseemly magnitude -- recall the lobster incident from "Annie Hall" for example. But when Allen isn't in top form, these seemingly inconsequential scenes are just... inconsequential. Sadly, it is this latter category into which falls virtually the entirety of "Small Time Crooks", Allen's thirtieth directorial outing. "Small Time Crooks" is a trifle of a film, offering just enough classic Allen to leave the viewer wondering how good a picture this could have been.

Ray Winkler is, you guessed it, a small time crook. He's never been particularly successful at the job but has an inflated sense of his own skills. During the two years he spent in jail for a failed heist, the other inmates sarcastically nicknamed him "The Brain". Ray took it as a compliment. Ray and his even dumber ex-con pals Denny (Michael Rapaport) and Tommy (Tony Darrow) devise a plan to rob a bank, by renting a nearby pizza parlor and tunneling from the basement straight into the vault. Soon they embroil others in their scheme, including arsonist Benny (Jon Lovitz), who used to be a fellow inmate of Ray's and has beaten him to the punch by leasing the pizza place first (his original plan was to burn it down -- he tells Ray he put his kids through college that way); Ray's wife Frenchy (Tracey Ullman), a former exotic dancer who reluctantly agrees to act as the front for the operation by selling cookies; and Frenchy's dimwitted cousin May (Elaine May).

But nothing goes according to plan. Ray and his accomplices find themselves digging into everything but the bank, while Frenchy's cookies are an astounding success. In weeks, customers are lined up down the block and camera crews are paying the store a visit. Frenchy's cookie business grows into a multimillionaire dollar snack food empire, and the Winklers are rich -- legitimately. But while Frenchy embraces her new social status, Ray still prefers spending his time playing poker and watching old gangster films. When Frenchy meets David (Hugh Grant), an ambitious art dealer who promises to enrich her culturally-starved life, it may mean the end of the Winklers' marriage.

"Small Time Crooks" starts well. The opening third of the film -- the abortive bank job and the initial success of Frenchy's cookie store -- boasts a number of very funny moments. Much of this is due to the excellent ensemble cast Allen has assembled, who are obviously having a lot of fun. Consider Rapaport's Denny, for instance, who is put in charge of promotion for Frenchy's blossoming business. In one scene, he is interviewed by a reporter who wants him to explain his thinking behind placing advertisements for the cookies in magazines like "Playboy" and "Hustler". In a perfect deadpan, Denny explains that if men are looking at the pictures and salivating, and then turn the page to see an ad for Frenchy's cookies, maybe they'll think it's the cookies that are making them salivate, and then they'll want some.

Indeed, the entire sequence of the boys' misadventures as they try to dig their tunnel is very witty, and the highlight of the film. But things go off the rails after that. As "Small Time Crooks" shifts its focus to Ray and Frenchy's social ascent and resulting marital strife, the laughs become fewer and farther between. Much of the humor is obvious and stale, like Ray's feeble attempts at small talk at a dinner party. To make matters worse, the great supporting cast established during the first act all but disappears, and Hugh Grant's David is just too dull and transparent a character to make up for the loss.

Things pick up somewhat during the final half hour, but even this sequence -- as Ray tries to rob a priceless necklace with May's bumbling assistance -- is really just pure sitcom stuff. The big problem with "Small Time Crooks" (apart from the fact that outside of the first forty minutes, it just isn't very funny) is that there are no real surprises. Sure, Allen throws in a couple of interesting plot twists and the opening set-up is rather dissembling, but thematically "Small Time Crooks" treads awfully familiar ground. Allen doesn't seem to have anything new to say with his story of the Winklers' rapid climb up the social ladder. The characters' personal journeys and their ultimate mutual destination is obvious and predictable; the only mystery is exactly how they get there, and it's a tepid one at best.

Allen's direction is typically competent, and occasionally inspired. There is one scene, for example, which subtly but effectively illustrates the difference in attitude between Ray and Frenchy once they've become rich. Having spent the night out pursuing separate activities, they both return to their apartment building at the same time. He's taken a cab; she, a limousine. But overall, "Small Time Crooks" is just too sedate and ordinary a story to give Allen much of a capacity for directorial flair.

Both leads give good performances, with the extroverted Ullman generally dominating over Allen. Indeed, Allen looks frankly worn out through much of the movie, though whether by accident or design I'm not entirely sure. I've already noted Rapaport's enjoyable performance. Also very good here is Lovitz, who manages to tone down his more annoying tendencies but is sadly underutilised.

In the end, "Small Time Crooks" feels like a decent idea poorly executed. Neither as funny nor as observant as many Woody Allen films, it does not strike me as likely to appeal much to either his fans or the general moviegoing public. It has its moments, but ultimately "Small Time Crooks" is a small time movie.

Copyright © 2000 Shannon Patrick Sullivan. Archived at The Popcorn Gallery, http://www.physics.mun.ca/~sps/movies/SmallTimeCrooks.html

_______________________________________________________________________ / Shannon Patrick Sullivan | "We are all in the gutter, but some of us \ | shannon@mun.ca | are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde | \___________________________|__________________________________________/ | Popcorn Gallery Movie Reviews www.physics.mun.ca/~sps/movies.html | | Doctor Who: A Brief History of Time (Travel) /drwho.html |

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