# Bachelor, The (1999)

### reviewed by
Brandon Herring

    Rating: * out of * * * *

    Rated: PG-13 for language.

Starring: Chris O'Donnell, Rene Zellwegar, Artie Lange, Ed Anser, Hal Holbrook, James Cromwell, Marley Shelton, Mariah Carey.

    Running Time: 106 minutes

Well there goes another one. Sadly this like other movies this year wasn't good. This one being almost as bad as 'The Omega Code' but not quite. From the opening credits I had a good feeling this would be bad, and well I guess I was right. With bad excuses for acting, a horrible screenplay and straight-out bad direction 'The Bachelor' is a terribly unfunny movie that doesn't work on any levels accept that fact that Rene Zellwegar who does give a good performance. The two cameos by Brooke Shields and Mariah Carey are also good with Brooke being the best. The movie is troubled from the start because Chris O'Donnell is hugely miscast and gives one of the worst performances to date.

Here is the stupid plot: Chris O'Donnell plays Jimmie Shelton a man who has just broken up with his girlfriend, he meets Anne (Rene Zellwegar) they instantly hit it off and are together for three years. Jimmie decides that he wants to bring their relationship a little bit up. He really doesn't realize that Anne thinks he wants to marry her (what he wants I never did catch). So he proposes in a really bad way, and she shoots him down and is very mad. He of course tries to apologize but nothing seems to help any. Then his grandfather dies and he learns that he has left Jimmie 100 million dollars....as long as he marries before the next day at 6:05 pm. Now Jimmie must find Anne and try to marry her to get the money and because he loves her, or get married to someone else to get the money itself, leading to an un-funny and predictable ending that leaves a bad taste in our mouths.

Ok so maybe this could be one of the dumbest, cliched, silliest romantic comedy to date that has no real big laughs. Even the supporting roles of Artie Lange, Hal Holbrook and Ed Anser aren't even good. The plot was a good idea, but the script would have to have been written in less than five minutes and by a five year old. The choppy dialogue and bad directing don't help things any. Even though Chris O'Donnell gave an OK performance in the two Batman movies, he does not give even a remotely good or funny performance here and I wanted to boo and throw my pop at the screen to get rid of him.

Rene Zelweggar is a different story and gave a charming, sweet and likable performance (as usual) and really was the only thing that saved this confused movie from being a total huge washout. Her sister played by Marley Shelton is also good and the two have good chemistry onscreen. Brooke Shields showed up in a funny little performance as a big-headed mogul who after a while became routine and old. One really can't help but think that we have seen this stuff before. It's not like this is an original idea and in the end, everyone knows what is going to happen due do its cliches and typicalness.

'The Bachelor' works on no good levels and in fact doesn't work at all. Ed Anser and Hal Holbrook were wasted in terrible roles and Mariah Carey can not act to save her soul, and this could be the only film of her movie career dispite her terrific music career. Chris O'Donnell is not as bad an actor as Casper Van Dien but that is not saying a great deal. He seems held back and really doesn't get into his character much and after even the first 30 minutes gets annoying and old. Artie Lange just to me seems like he is trying to another Chris Farley and was completely unfunny and un-nerving.

Why the filmmakers would want to waste such a cast in such a bad movie, with such bad acting and dialogue is a question only they will know. Maybe they thought it would become a hit or a critical success, and sometimes I don't agree with other critics on movies, even from the trailers for this film they made it look bad and showed all the mildly funny parts. Its based on the 1925 silent film 'Seven Chances' which I am sure is very better than this mess. Even though some may think of this as a good date movie, most who see this will want to pull out thier hair and scream for thier money back.

Besides being a terrible movie, 'The Bachelor' is well a terrible movie. It has nothing worth recommending therefore I really can't recommend this movie. I did not have a good time and I laughed only three times. The running time of the movie is 106 minutes which is wayyyy over time and needs to be shortened at least thirty minutes. Parts of it seems to go on forever and parts of seem to not last enough time. Being one of the worst movies of the year, we can be sure that I hope they will not make anymore stupid unfunny romantic comedies, and if they do they I give up on filmmakers.

Reviewed by Brandon Herring November 13, 1999. Brandon Herring Http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/movie/3160/moviereviewheaven.html

    "He Came Home"- Halloween
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    "           "- Silent Bob

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