# Critters (1986)

### reviewed by
Faust667@aol.com

In the wake of "Gremlins" and its myriad rip-offs came this very funny horror comedy, for a lack of a better description. It is quick (at a full-throttle 86 minutes), clever, self-parodic, and just plain delightful from first frame to last.

The story begins in outer space on some floating prison ship, housing fugitives known simply as the Cripes, who are to be transported to some asteroid. The Cripes somehow escape on the ship and head for Earth (aliens just love our home planet), while two bounty hunters dressed in almost Western garb, a combination of long trenchcoats and pointed boots, search for them. They also have to change their nondescript appearances to human form.

Flash forward to the typical American farmlands of Kansas where a nice American family live, consisting of the farmer, Jay Brown (Billy Green Bush), his housecleaning wife, Helen (Dee Wallace Stone), the presumptious son, Brad (Scott Grimes) who loves using his slingshot, and the sister he constantly fights with, April (Nadine Van Der Velde), who has the hots for the local handsome teen male, played by none other than Billy Zane!

The town is full of the usual cast of denizens, including the local sheriff (the terrific M. Emmet Walsh) and the village idiot (Don Opper), who believes aliens will invade Earth (he of course was once attacked by an alien). But an invasion is imminent as a spaceship lands in the farmlands, and a host of furballs start killing livestock, and basically they try to eat their way through dear old Kansas. They are of course the Cripes, a crew of furball monsters that have razor sharp teeth and use sleep-inducing (or perhaps poisonous) darts that shoot from their heads. They attack the farmer's family, and most of the town itself. Naturally, the bounty hunters finally land on Earth and cause their own havoc with their enormous guns blasting everything in sight (including churches and bowling alleys) as they search for the Cripes.

"Critters" is lots of fun, inducing more laughs than scares but of course, this is no serious horror flick. In a comical scene, Brad spots a silhouette of a Critter growing to mammoth proportions. I also like how one of the Critters utters the F curse, or how one plucks the eyes off of an E.T. doll.

The scenes at the beginning are the best as we see how this oblivious American family lives. I love the moment where Dee Wallace smiles in recognition as her daughter speaks to her boyfriend, which leads to a dinner scene with the family and the boyfriend. As the sweet couple leaves for literally a romp in the hay, the patriarch Jay asks his wife: "Have you ever told April about...you know?" She responds: "Years ago." Moments like that, and there are several featuring the sly Grimes, gives a sense of humanity to the characters. They are not cartoonish types, though the movie is one big cartoon spectacle.

It also helps that veteran character actor M. Emmet Walsh (the slimy, corrupt detective in "Blood Simple") and Don Opper (memorable as the title character in "Android") were cast, lending plenty of humorous asides throughout. "Critters" is a guilty pleasure, but full of smiles and knowing references to the B-movies of the past. It would make a great double-feature with "Mars Attacks!"

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E-mail me with any questions, comments or general complaints at jerry@movieluver.com or at Faust667@aol.com

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