# Six Days Seven Nights (1998)

### reviewed by
Nathaniel R. Atcheson

    Six Days, Seven Nights (1998)

Director: Ivan Reitman Cast: Harrison Ford, Anne Heche, David Schwimmer, Jacqueline Obradors, Temuera Morrison, Danny Trejo Screenplay: Michael Browning Producers: Roger Birnbaum, Wallis Nicita, Ivan Reitman Runtime: US Distribution: Hollywood Pictures Rated PG-13: language, adult themes

By Nathaniel R. Atcheson (nate@pyramid.net)

Movies like Six Days, Seven Nights make me mad because talented people like Harrison Ford, Anne Heche, and Ivan Reitman put a lot of hard work in to a script worth about ten cents. The script was written by Michael Browning, and he decided that, instead of thinking up new ideas, he'd rehash a lot of cliches, omit even the slightest bit of character development, and then throw in drug-dealing pirates to provide for a few high-level action sequences and explosions. There are good scripts out there that high-profile actors can make (see The Truman Show, for instance). Six Days, Seven Nights is simply a waste.

Let's see . . . we have to get Harrison Ford and Anne Heche alone on an island. So, how do we do that? Well, we'll make her a feisty magazine editor, and we'll make him a crusty old pilot. But wait, she has to have a fiancée; that can be David Schwimmer. But wait, if she has a fiancée, how will she and Harrison Ford crash on the island alone? I know! They'll get to their vacation spot, and then she'll get called back! Yessssss! So, they'll crash on the island, and that will be funny for about five minutes. Shucks.

Oh, I've got it! We'll throw in a distracting subplot in which her fiancée has sex with a really attractive woman who acts like a bimbo, and then he can feel guilty. Then, when Anne Heche kisses Harrison Ford (they have to kiss, because otherwise nobody will want to see the movie), it will be a vindicated action, because her fiancée will already have cheated on her! Then, for no obvious reason, they'll accidentally run into pirates who try to kill them. Oh, yes! I feel so good about this story. Instead of using characterization to propel the events, it will be completely random, and yet totally predictable! Imagine that.

Don't get me wrong -- Six Days, Seven Nights is not a boring picture; Ford and Heche both do a great job. The sparks fly between them, and so most of Browning's inane dialogue is drowned out by the actors' sheer force of talent. Almost every scene between them has energy that the performers bring to the screen, and I found myself laughing pretty hard. Schwimmer is also funny, and manages to milk all of his scenes for whatever he can get. And Reitman, who has made some good films, at least tries to make things exciting. Even though the pirate subplot is profoundly dumb, I was prepared to be pleasantly sidetracked by the action sequences.

It's just when I start to think about the story that my contempt for this film surfaces. The picture feels like it's been hacked to pieces -- I wouldn't be surprised if five or six inept subplots have been edited out completely. The ones that are here are as bad as they come (I think I let out a very audible groan when they get the first glimpse of the pirate ships), and I'd just like to shake the producers by the shoulders and scream, "Why did you pick this awful script!?"

The film is outright stupid, but some of the elements are subtly horrifying. For instance, take the subplot in which the Schwimmer character has sex with the bimbo, and then feels really guilty. This is a serious problem in real life, but Six Days, Seven Nights reduces any chance of complexity to a weak plot device: his actions are what makes it okay for Heche to kiss Ford. In a script that lacks even a glimpse of intelligent subtlety, I find it odd that such a strangely insulting device ended up in the story.

This is summer movie season, but that doesn't mean our movies have to be dumb. 1998 so far has been one of the worst years in recent memory for summer blockbusters. When I was in line for Six Days, Seven Nights, I heard the woman in front of me ask for "two tickets to that new Harrison Ford movie." Why didn't she know the name of the film? I suppose she just didn't care. What bothers me even more is that the people who make these big-budget pictures don't realize that their films are becoming parodies of themselves. Good actors should sign to good scripts, and if Hollywood insists on making flicks to rake in cash, they least they could do is assume that we'd like to spend our money on a story worth more than ten cents.

    *1/2 out of ****
    (3/10, D)

              Visit FILM PSYCHOSIS at
         http://www.pyramid.net/natesmovies

               Nathaniel R. Atcheson

The review above was posted to the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup (de.rec.film.kritiken for German reviews).
The Internet Movie Database accepts no responsibility for the contents of the review and has no editorial control. Unless stated otherwise, the copyright belongs to the author.
Please direct comments/criticisms of the review to relevant newsgroups.
Broken URLs inthe reviews are the responsibility of the author.
The formatting of the review is likely to differ from the original due to ASCII to HTML conversion.

Related links: index of all rec.arts.movies.reviews reviews