# Whole Nine Yards, The (2000)

### reviewed by
John Beachem

    THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

    Review by John Beachem

    * * * 1/2

    Directed by: Jonathan Lynn
    Written by: Mitchell Kapner

"It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people that are still alive," Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) solemnly informs a very nervous Nick "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry) once Oz discovers Jimmy's profession. This line, and the way in which it is delivered, are great examples of how funny "The Whole Nine Yards" can be. The problem is, that while it can be hilarious, the film also has a tendancy to drag at times. The ending goes on for far too long, and the humor occasionally falls flat. However, when the film pulls its humor off, it's hysterical.

Oz is a dentist who is so tired of life with his commanding wife, Sophie (Rosanna Arquette), that he spends his mornings smashing his head against his steering wheel while driving to work. His secretary, Jill (A hilarious Amanda Peet), is constantly trying to convince him to divorce his wife but Oz knows that Sophie will get everything in the divorce settlement. To add to his miseries, Oz discovers that his new neighbor is hitman, Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski. It turns out that there is a price on Jimmy's head, courtesy of his associate back in Chicago, Yanni Gogolack (Kevin Pollak). Sophie wants Oz to go back to Chicago, deliver the whereabouts of Jimmy, and collect a finder's fee. Oz is of course averse to doing this, since it will most likely involve Jimmy's killing Oz upon his return. Once he arrives in Chicago, Oz meets up with another hitman named Frankie Figgs (Michael Clark Duncan), who is apparently working for Yanni. The situation grows steadily worse for poor Oz from there.

"The Whole Nine Yards" is one of those fun movies like "Mars Attacks" and "Galaxy Quest", where you can tell that the entire cast is having a great time making the film. When a cast acts in this manner it usually carries over to the audience, as is the case here. Bruce Willis's comic talents lie mainly in his deadpan delivery of lines, and he is given ample oppurtunity to display this talent throughout the film. I believe that Matthew Perry's primary talent is his wide range of facial expressions, and again, he is given the chance to utilize this ability throughout the movie. Despite the considerable comic abilities of both these actors, they are overshadowed by Amanda Peet's ("Isn't She Great", "Simply Irresistable") hysterical performance as the secretary who wants desperately to become a contract killer.

"The Whole Nine Yards" has an amazingly complex plot, considering what a goofy little movie it appears to be at first glance. The film is filled with double crosses, backstabbing, and false identities. Every character involved wants some other character dead, and there are various little subplots relating to these. Unlike "Gun Shy" from earlier this year, the romantic elements to "The Whole Nine Yards" don't feel tacked on and useless. Though difficult to take seriously, they blend with the rest of the film quite well. The cast members work very well together, particularly Bruce Willis and Amanda Peet. The two of them have a grand old time playing teacher and student in a very unlikely profession. Peet is so overcome with hero worship for the elder hitman, she is willing to do anything (and I mean anything) to win his approval.

The only cast member I found to be rather out of place here was Rosanna Arquette as the hideous wife of Oz. The problem is, I can't imagine anyone playing a grotesque character like this. The other major flaw with the film is the amount of time spent on the ending. The movie could have ended fifteen minutes earlier than it does with no problem. One more thing I must note is that "The Whole Nine Yards" is definitely a guy movie. Nearly every guy in the theatre I attended was laughing uproariously at the movie, while most of the women present seemed rather baffled by the humor. "The Whole Nine Yards" runs a little too long at 100 minutes, but it doesn't start to drag too badly till the end. I'd recommend it to fans of Matthew Perry and Bruce Willis. If you dislike these actors, I'd suggest you stay far away from this one. I give the movie three and a half out of five stars.

Comments? Feel free to e-mail them to: johnbeachem@dependentfilms.net For past reviews, movie news, and other fun stuff, visit: http://www.dependentfilms.net

* * * * * - One of the greatest movies ever made, see it now. * * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one. * * * - Okay movie, hits and misses. * * - Pretty bad, see it only if you've got nothing better to do. * - One of the worst movies ever made. See it only if you enjoy pain.

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